It has been about a month now since we've last spoken or seen another.
This past month has been a nightmare, but it has also been beautiful in a strange kind of way. After you shattered my spirit, I came rising back up, and I became a stronger person.
You were my best friend and my boyfriend for a matter of fact. You made me so happy, I do not think you realized how truly happy you made me.
You were the light that brightened up my dark skies.
You meant the world to me... but that was not enough, was it?
The night you left me, I felt my heart shatter on the floor. I built up a wall, and you tore it down. When I walked you out I collapsed and broke down into tears.
My friends tried to console me, but my heart was in ruins. Then I learned the truth, and that was what broke my heart even more.
The first day was the worst, smiling was the hardest thing. You were stuck in my head like a song on repeat, and god I just wanted this pain and the image of your face to disappear.
And your laugh, the laugh I fell in love with haunted me at night.
The days seemed to drag by, and I shut people out. But each day, I realized that from the beginning you were toxic towards me, but I still loved you.
You tried to change things about me, like my hair, my personality, who I hung out with and how I looked at myself.
That was never OK, why did you do that to me?
You put me down a lot, saying I had a big belly, and I just hated my body.
The things you said to me too, and the warnings my friend gave to me about you--they were right, and I wish I listened to them sooner...it would have saved me so much pain.
My friends and family helped me get back on my feet. And time truly does heal the pain, and now I'm starting to slowly, but surely, forget about you.
Just like you forgot about me.
I want to thank you for breaking me. I hope you know what you have lost, and I hope whoever you're with next is never EVER treated like this.
I don't have any hatred towards you, just sadness, and a little bit of anger. I wish you thought of the consequences of what you did and what your actions would end up doing to me.
I do wish you the best, and I want you to know that I'm OK. I will find someone who will love me for me the awkward person that I am.
Someone who will stand by me when my world falls apart because you couldn't fit those shoes.
Thank you for making me realize that I didn't lose you.
You lost me
The girl who loved you