This was originally a very angry article.

Don’t get me wrong, I am still very upset over and disappointed by the events that have transpired at my former high school over the past week. But, as I keep trying to remind myself and others, yelling incoherently and pointing fingers is generally not a productive action. And so, I’m going to do my best to avoid doing that.

On Friday, December ninth, there was a “racially charged event” at my former high school. A group of boys eating lunch used a racial slur during conversation next to a table containing three black students, and a shouting match ensued between the two groups, which culminated in the arrest of two students in the middle of the cafeteria. From what I have gathered from social media and current students I have spoken with, as well as a video circulating of one of the arrests, both of the students who were arrested were defending the black students who they had been seated with. Both were charged with disorderly conduct, and one with harassment, due to the fact that they had made “threatening statements.”

Obviously, I do not know the exact details of the event, and I don’t intend to pretend to. I was several hundred miles away, and my information comes from local newspapers, current students, and a phone call I had with my superintendent earlier this morning. However, I cannot help but express my concern about how these events will be handled.

Throughout my time at Potsdam Central High School, I stood witness to, and was, on occasion, a victim too, numerous acts of aggression and intolerance from both fellow students as well as the occasional teacher. And time and time again, I saw these acts of aggression go either ignored or unnoticed, even if the victims went to our guidance counselors or proper administration to address the problem. I watched my friends be harassed for years by the older brother of a student who had moved districts. I watched the majority of my female peers be objectified, touched without consent, and treated inappropriately by our male gym teacher. I was catcalled on multiple occasions by one of my history teachers after I performed in various drama club productions. A friend of mine had private medical information spread around the school that originated with the guidance office secretary.

All of these incidents were reported, some on multiple occasions. None of them were ever properly addressed.

Of course, all of these are very different scenarios from a public shouting match culminating in an arrest witnessed by a large number of students. However, it does go to demonstrate how well acts of aggression are often handled at Potsdam Central High School.

Namely, they aren’t.

Because of this history of non-action I have experienced from my former administrators, I immediately panicked when I first heard about the fight, particularly when the message came via a video of another alum, speaking about the incident and then continuing to state that a student had been allowed to post an “All Lives Matter” poster in the main lobby (he proceeded to record himself going into the school, tearing it down, and destroying it).

Now that I have calmed since initially seeing this video and am capable of thinking about the event logically, I can easily see that this was likely a misguided attempt to promote diversity in a positive light by a student who simply did not understand the harmfulness of the All Lives Matter movement. Because, regardless of how well-intentioned the district’s attempts to promote acceptance are, they are often misguided. I know this firsthand, as I was a student who attempted to spread acceptance throughout the school with a number of different campaigns and approaches. Due to the lack of diversity within the school district as well as within the staff, many of the students (and even some faculty members) have not had to deal with conflicts based on race, and this event has left many students and faculty reeling. The night I found out about the incident, I spoke to a current student, who was completely baffled by the different reactions to it and the fact that it had occurred in the first place. I have been told of incidents of the n-word being thrown around by teachers in an attempt to explain what was wrong with the fight, and of incidents in which black students were put on the spot to answer questions about the conflict that they had no idea how to answer. When I spoke to my superintendent, even she admitted that she was unsure how to approach discussing the fight with the student body, even though she and many faculty members didn’t want to leave it unaddressed. She then told me of her plan to address the issue, which was far more detailed than any other plan to address harassment within our district that I have ever encountered, utilizing a number of different approaches in an attempt to address the issue while still keeping students engaged and comfortable.

And, for the first time ever, I left a conversation with one of my grade school administrators feeling reassured.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have many concerns. When she told me of her plan to bring in current and former students to participate in meetings with administration and faculty, as well as to potentially help lead discussions in classrooms, it made me worry that all of the students who are involved will be white. I worry that many of the alumni will be students who have not left the tricounty area to go to college and have yet to truly experience living in an area that isn’t predominantly white. I worry that utilizing the principles of the “All Lives Matter” movement will be considered an acceptable way of dealing with the issue, even though said movement is far more harmful to nonwhite and LGBTQ+ students than anything else. I worry that, if that approach or a similar one is utilized, that nonwhite and LGBTQ+ students will end up being further marginalized by the actions taken by this group. And I worry that all of these decisions will end up being made by a room full of white people, regardless of how well-intentioned these actions will be.

And it is because of these concerns that I have asked to be a part of the panel that was created to address this issue, which my superintendent refers to as “the diversity committee.” Yes, I am a white alum. No, I will never understand what it means to be discriminated against because of my race. But this is an issue that is important to me, and, although I now go to college quite far away from my former school, in a city that is perhaps the antithesis of Potsdam, New York, it is still very important to me that the students back there aren’t subjected to harassment for their race or sexual orientation or gender. It is important to me that these students have a better high school experience than I did.

And so I say to these current students, please tell me your concerns. Tell me what is failing in the district’s attempts to address harassment and the diversity issues within our schools. Tell me what’s working. I know that I abandoned you as soon as I walked across the stage and took my diploma at graduation with the intent to never look back, but this has proven to be a mistake. This is a time that we have to stand together. We live in a country that will very soon be led by the least qualified president with the least educated cabinet in history. A country that will be led by white supremacists, homophobes, and misogynists in the highest office. And we cannot let their ideals win over the rest of us. Even though right now, our government has failed us, I intend to make sure that the history of non-action that is present at Potsdam Central High School is put to an end. We cannot let this fight go unaddressed. We cannot let this sort of behavior be condoned by our school by not dealing with the problem. So please, speak up. Fight for what’s right for our marginalized students and for our school. And I’ll stand with you every step of the way.