This is an open letter from me to anybody suffering from mental health issues. I know the road is long and lonely, and it is hard to find comfort along the way, but I hope this message will serve as an important reminder of two things.
First, you are never alone; and second, there is hope of healing and happiness for every single one of us. Here is a list of things I want you to know, and deeply believe.
1. You are NOT a weak person: every single person on this planet is susceptible to the kind of pain you are experiencing.
Nobody tells people they are weak if they are hurting because they broke a bone, and this should be no different. Just because your pain is less visible, that doesn't make it less real. It takes immeasurable strength to find optimism, hope, and self-belief amidst an ocean of negative thoughts, anxiety, and fear. You are really strong. Don't forget it.
2. You are a good person, I promise.
It's hard to be our best selves when we feel constant anxiety, stress, sadness, fear of the future, or anger at circumstances we can't change. Sometimes it's so overwhelming that it is hard to be patient, kind, or considerate to others because we are having such a hard time being compassionate to the most desperate parts of ourselves.
You are not a bad person; you are going through a hard time and trying to make the best of it. It's okay that you aren't perfect all the time, it's okay if you got angry, it's okay if you were short-tempered, and it's okay if you didn't have the energy to be happy around other people simply because you felt sad. Offer yourself some compassion and understanding. Good people make mistakes too. So what? That does not make you bad, you are still fundamentally good and everybody who knows you is sure of this.
3. It's perfectly okay to ask for help.
It's okay to accept that you haven't figured this out; in fact it takes tremendous courage to be so honest. Don't give into the stigma of mental illness; challenge it, confront it, disprove it. Never shy away from seeking out resources that will help you feel better.
4. Some people (including people who love you very much) will not know how to help you.
It is important to accept this. Everybody has different life experiences, and everybody has a different threshold for offering emotional support. Some people simply can't empathize with what you are going through, though they may sympathize. That is okay--let it be and love them anyway. There are other people around you that will get it and want to support you.
5. You are going to develop an intense appreciation for the good times in life.
You'll know the real value of happiness when it comes because you have endured the heartache of its long absence. You can't experience pain without an increased capacity for joy and gratitude. This will be your victory.
6. Sometimes the battle will feel pointless, or overwhelming, or lost.
I want you to know that you are going to win. I promise you.
Every difficult experience in life is an opportunity to redefine yourself. Come out of this and commit to being a better you, a stronger you, a more empathetic you, a more loving you, a more grateful you, a more resilient you.
Once we accept pain is an inevitable part of the human experience we get to decide what we use it for.
Sand castles are knocked down over and over again, and we get to build them a little different every time. We get to build them with different people, or base them on different parts of ourselves. They change as we do. And in time we learn to love the building of sand castles more than we love the admiring of them. You will learn to love the process of building your life up again and again and again. And that is winning, because you will understand that life is ultimately made up of those moments when we turned pain into art.
You are artwork, and all the best pieces are never finished.
