To Those Struggling With Their Blemishes:

In our society it is can be challenging to have an imperfect body. The media is always portraying a certain view of how we should aspire to look. Thankfully the conversation is starting to change. Whether it is pimples, marks, discoloration or scars, it can be difficult to feel comfortable in your skin, but you are not alone.

In the fall of 2010, I noticed a bump on the lower part of arm and went to a dermatologist to get it checked. The doctor told me it was a precancerous spitzoid that needed to be removed before it turned cancerous. Once it was removed, I had a nice, noticeable scar on my arm. It was not long before everyone, whether I knew them or not, asked me what happened and pointed to my newly minted mark.

How people, especially people who did not know me, felt comfortable enough to point out something on my body was beyond me. I began to feel embarrassed, uncomfortable and angry about my scar. I did not ask people why they were cross eyed or why their nose looked funny, so why did they feel entitled to ask me about my scar? I hated having to retell the story of my scar numerous times. If I had a dollar for every time I told the story, I would not be a broke college student.

Being upset about the questions and comments is understandable. People are putting your body on display and pointing out your “flaws.” The worst moment about my scar was when my God-mother was looking at my prom pictures and said I looked beautiful, but it was “a shame your scar was showing so much.” Needless to say that comment hurt worse than the knife used to make the scar. After enough comments and questions, my mother offered the option to pay for plastic surgery to remove the scar. I thought about removing my blemish, but ultimately decided against it. I did not want any more surgery and whether I liked it or not, the scar was a part of me now.

Eventually, I started to embrace my imperfections. One time someone asked me about the scar and I convinced them it was from a fight. That person told me I was a badass and it made me feel okay for once. I may not be able to control the people asking the questions, but I can control how I respond and react to the questions.

However, do not make the mistake of compromising your personal space. As recent as this week a coworker came over to me and started touching my scar. I gave her a look and she quickly stopped. I did not dwell on this encounter the way I previously did-- instead, I made it clear I was not okay with her touching me and left it at that. You do not have to be okay with someone invading your personal space.

Everyone has imperfections-- some imperfections are more noticeable than others. Instead of feeling upset or embarrassed, embrace what makes you different. Your blemishes, marks or scars make you who you are. Be confident in who you are and the story of your imperfections.

Sincerely,

Someone Still Learning To Accept Her Imperfections