It was fun at first. There was no pressure and high expectations of me. Games would end with smiles, snacks and laughter. I still remember the adrenaline rushes I'd always get under the Friday night lights, because stepping on that field felt like an honor. It's a feeling that's hard to forget.
But then it began to become more of an obligation rather than an indulgence. To put it simply, it just wasn't fun anymore.
You, the game I fell so irrevocably in love with, became a pest to me.
Lacing up my boots seemed like a chore. My heart would pound against my chest every time the ball got within twenty feet of me. I dreaded going to practices. The thought of having to play a full game would put my stomach in a swirl, and I would think of one million places I'd rather be other than in that game. It was as if my heart and mind were at war, one wanting to stick with you and the other wanting to just give it all up.
I began to scare myself with the thought of quitting, because I thought I'd never had the guts to do it--but I finally did. You, the sport that I dedicated over half my life to, was now the bane of my existence. My sense of enjoyment was nowhere to be found. The passion was gone. I realized that I wasn't playing for myself anymore.
So I quit.
You were no longer fulfilling to me. I had other things to do and places to visit- you had held me back from so many things. You were no longer a part of my identity, rather just a memory in the past I no longer wanted to re-visit.
After quitting, I was in a "culture shock" conundrum. I no longer had practices, which meant more free time. There was no longer strength and conditioning trainings I had to attend, which meant more sleep for me. At first, I didn't know what to do with myself, I felt as though I was fumbling around searching for a new hobby while trying to avoid looking ridiculous.
Not everything about you wasn't terrible. Was quitting liberating? Absolutely. Do I regret committing to you in the first place? Not a chance.
I look back and remember all the memories I've made and how I crossed paths with some of the most amazing people. Yeah, maybe I wasn't completely enjoying myself, but you shaped me into the individual I am today. Wisdom was gained and lessons were learned. I grew through the experiences you put me through. You taught me teamwork, discipline and how to be accountable for my own actions.
But most importantly, you taught me how to work under pressure. Life is hard and it's only going to get harder. Some obstacles are going to be more difficult than others. But instead of cowering away or raising my white flag in defeat, you taught me to fight through and push on until the end.You taught me perseverance and to always fight to the finish.
