An Open Letter to My Soul Mate,

They say that things come to those who wait…well, I have been waiting and I still believe this is true. I’ve been through heartaches, rejections, long lost hopes, first kisses and last kisses. I’ve tried a dating app, going on a blind date or two, guarding my heart and opening my heart. I’ve searched for you in my childhood friend, my best friend, a player, a high school crush, and maybe even at the grocery store or the bank. I fantasize about meeting you while on vacation in another state or just walking in the halls of my school. I think of all the possibilities of who you are and who you can be. Are you tall? Are you blonde? Do you have green eyes? Do you love children?

And some days my heart hurts and I think about life without you. I think about life alone. Think about dreaming my dreams as a single woman, maybe a single mother. Think about my life without you if you do not exist. I think maybe it is not meant to be. Maybe I’m meant to be a strong, independent woman. I think about the factors of having kids alone, how many dogs I will get, what kind of house I can own alone. I think about living in other places on my own. I think about life without you because I don’t want to get my hopes up that you are out there at times. Because times like this when I’m stuck, I can’t help but to think about life without you. When I spend day by day listening to my friends talk about their boyfriends and possibly having a future, I let my head wander and think will I ever get that? If I think about it long enough, I get upset. Because days like this when I feel stuck, you feel so far away.

But other days I see the love. I see the love in children, old couples, newlyweds, mothers, fathers. I see the love that is in this world and think how can I miss out on this. I know with all my heart that my plan for this world is to love somebody with all my heart the way they can love me. To understand someone on another level simply because they understand you. To love someone because they love you. They cherish you and you cherish them. That kind of love that you can make it through anything. The love I see in my parents, my grandparents, my friends and their boyfriends, and any love that shows this power. The power that love makes people grow and waters the roots of relationships beyond the boundaries of heartaches and pain. Beyond illness and death. Beyond the harsh world we come to know today.

You are out there. I haven’t met you yet but I will. Rather you are my best friend, my college crush, the guy at the supermarket, a classmate, or someone I bump into on the train. Rather you are from my hometown or from another state I meet on vacation or a build trip. Rather you are tan, blonde, dark haired, green eyed, blue eyed, tall or short. I will find you, because with the power of love and strength I will find the thing I have been waiting for and that is my best friend, my soul mate, and the love of my life.

When I meet you, I wish you good luck. Good luck to dealing with my kind heart, stubborn, control freak, planning freak, baby fever, messy, one of a kind soul. Here’s to the day where I get to grow old with you. Where we take on the little adventure called life. When I get to show you how to bait a hook, make a damn good sandwich, show you my crazy family, and watch movies with you by my side. To the days where we will laugh and we will cry. To our wedding day, our first home, and to our children. To spending the life well spent with you by my side. Here’s to my future soulmate. My future husband. My future heart. You are out there, I just haven’t met you yet. I promise to give you all I got with what I have.

Love Always,