To my second love,
Don’t take this the wrong way, I know it sounds bad but just hear me out. Before I met you, I was broken. The boy before you broke me. He made me trust, he made me care, he made me love. When he left, he left behind a damaged me. But then you came, and like some kind of knight in shining armor, you saved me. You made me feel beautiful and loved again. You made me genuinely happy again.
I wish I could express in words how much you mean to me. But unfortunately no matter how hard I try, no arrangement of these 26 letters will let me accurately describe what I feel for you. Not even close. But I’m going to try anyway, so here it goes.
I love you with all my heart, I love you more than I ever loved that stupid one before you. And I promise to love you until the end of time if you let me. I promise to love you the best that I can and I promise I will never give up on us. You have sacrificed so much for me, and I am willing to do the same for you. Because you are everything to me. And don’t think that I don’t notice the effort you put into this. All those short phone calls whenever you’re out walking somewhere, waking up to your “good morning beautiful” texts, and those kisses you sneak to me over video chat when you don’t think your friends are looking. I notice. Thank you for doing all those things for me. Thank you for trying. I am trying too, believe me that I am.
Right now, things are hard. You’re in New York, and I’m in Illinois. Let’s be real. Long distance is hard. But I know we can make it work if we both want it to. I’m meeting new people here and you’re meeting new people there. I trust you, I do. But if by chance you do meet a girl who makes you think twice, remember me and this letter. Remember all the obstacles we’ve already overcome. Remember I would do anything for you. Remember that time I flew to New York to get you back. Remember our inside jokes. Remember the laughs we share, our memories, and even the tears. But most importantly, remember that I love you.
I will always be grateful to have you be apart of my life. Whether it’s until death do us part, or just our own short little forever. It’s a privilege to experience the amount of love you have to give, and to experience what it’s like to be loved by you. And although everyone thinks I’m just a hopeful little 18 year old living in her own fairytale, I really am hoping that it’s you and me in the end. Even when we have our worst fights, I still see you being the one waiting for me at the end of that aisle. But the odds are stacked against us, and if in the end it’s not you and me, just know that I will never look back on our time together with regret. I will hope that the girl after me will make you happier than I did and will love you more than I did (although I highly doubt that’s even possible). And I will always be rooting for you, I will always be your biggest supporter and number one fan. I will hope to hear about your success one day and hearing about you fulfilling all the dreams you always talked about.
Who cares about first loves, anyway? My first love was my first heartbreak, and that is how I will always remember him. But you… You’re my second. You taught me how to love again and what it felt like to truly be loved by someone. You made me see a future with you when, for awhile, I couldn’t even see a future for myself. And that is how I will always remember you. And that is what really matters.
I have loved you, I love you, and I will always love you, forever and ever. I promise.
With much love,
The girl you fixed.
