An Open Letter to the Person With A Toxic Friend

An Open Letter to the Person With A Toxic Friend

It's sometimes okay to be selfish
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Most people have been in a relationship with someone who was toxic. A person who was so self-consumed they couldn’t see, or just didn’t care, how much they were hurting you. A person who made you feel worse instead of better. A person who made you cry more than they made you laugh. It always feels impossible to get rid of these people, especially if they meant something to you at some point (as most friends do). Although, there comes a point where you just have to let go.

You can’t let people like this consume you because usually they somehow do. They know how to get at you and abuse you and how to make you somehow feel terrible all the time. It’s not okay to be in relationships like this, but the good moments make it feel like it’s worth it. I promise you, it isn’t. Getting rid of toxic people is better than living with them. You will find people who give you those good moments without the toxicity and they will make you realize that you can’t keep the toxic friends.

“People change”, but you can’t wait for someone to change when they’re making your life so much worse. I’ve had friends ruin entire years for me or ruin other friendships and my biggest regret was not letting go of them sooner. I always worried about how they would feel, even though they could care less about how I felt all the time. Maybe letting go of them will make them realize they are abusive or at the very least, they will get over it. It’s okay to be “selfish”- if someone is making you feel worse about yourself and consumes you somehow, you need to get rid of them. It is never okay that someone makes you feel worse about yourself to feel better about themselves.

However long you stay in that friendship, you aren’t alone. You can be in a toxic friendship for years, but you will still feel better getting out of it. It is so impressive to be able to let go of people who aren’t good for you no matter how long you were with them. There will always be people who went through something similar and can help you.

The most important thing is to put yourself first and realize that if someone doesn’t make you feel good about yourself, it is okay to let go of them.

Cover Image Credit: YouTube

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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How To Work Toward Your Fitness Goals So You Can Actually Enjoy The Journey

Don't start tomorrow, start today!

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People have different reasons for wanting to get fit. Some people want to lose weight, some people want to gain weight, and some folks just want to be more active. No matter what your goal is and why it is never too late to start your fitness journey.

1. First, do research!

Everyone's body is different, so what works for your friends may not work for you.

2.Try to start your fitness journey within 24 hours of reading this! Stop putting it off! You don't have to wait until New Years to set your goals. You don't have to wait until next winter to start working on your summer body.

3. Join a gym and actually GO!

Grab a buddy if it is too intimidating to go by yourself. If you don't know what exercises to do, go to a class. Most gyms have fitness classes like Zumba, yoga, spin, or kick boxing.

3. Join an intramural or club sport.

If you know you won't work out directly on your own, do an activity that will force you to.

5. Take advantage of the area around you.

Go hiking, swimming, or biking!

6. Change your diet.

Cutting out greasy foods and sugary drinks can go a long way. Also, meal prep may be tedious but it is worth it! If you make all of your meals for the week on Sunday, you won't have to worry about ordering pizza because you don't feel like cooking.

7. Go for morning or evening jogs.

Even if you aren't the best runner, the more you do it, the better you will become.

8. Do simple workouts in the comfort of your own home.

You don't need any form of equipment to do a few sets of push-ups, sit-ups, and squats a day.

9. Do a combination of things listed above! Just be active.

Cover Image Credit:

Maya Sampson

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