When someone tells you to “get over yourself” or simply “quit putting yourself down,” you can’t. It’s not that easy. Having low self-esteem obviously pulls you away from confidence, and no matter what, you feel unsatisfied with how you look, act, or think. I just want you to know that you are not alone in this and that I completely understand.
I’ve had low self-esteem for as long as I can remember. When I was a teenager, I, like other girls, was conscious about how I dress or apply my make-up, wondering if I look good enough or not. Somehow, there’s something about myself that bothers me. I stutter/talk too softly, lack poise, and feel that I act way too awkwardly or timidly around new people--these things have become a part of my personality, and it has been hard to accept that. When people compliment me, I thank them, but don’t necessarily believe or agree with what they say—at least not right away. I make sure to think before I speak, worrying that the stuff I say would sound stupid, confusing or strange. Many times, I feel that I should just be more than how I am right now—a better friend, a better writer, and just a better person overall.
Even my admitting of having low self-esteem seem to throw people off, and I’m sure at one point, you thought the same. We just want others to accept us for what we are, as we cannot do that for ourselves. If they don’t accept us, well, we still feel disappointed, maybe even worse. Low self-esteem certainly stops us from considering our strengths, whatever they may be. I have to admit that letting your low self-esteem control how you perceive yourself is actually painful--you won’t be able to take care of yourself as much as you should. Putting yourself down all the time and criticizing/overanalyzing how you look, think, or act eventually leads you to experience depression, anxiety or even anger issues. This happens to me quite frequently.
Low self-esteem may be the barrier that keeps you from gaining your confidence, but that doesn’t mean you should let it take over you. Take a moment now and remember the good deeds that you’ve done, either for yourself or for others--these could be a small deed like opening the door for someone or being the one to buy a gift for your significant other. Spend some time to yourself, and don’t hesitate to try a new activity every now and then, even if it’s beyond your comfort zone. You can learn a new language or attempt running a marathon with an organization. Anything. Every person is capable of something, especially you. It might just take a while for you to embrace that strength/capability, but know that it’s still there. Always.
If people have the nerve to judge you, their opinions aren’t necessarily valid. You know yourself from than anybody and as much as low self-esteem forces you to consider people’s negative criticisms, you’re still aware of what you can do. Focus on what’s good for yourself, and not what others want you to be. It is okay to sometimes complain about what you should have done or simply admit that saying “You can do this” to yourself is cliché and doesn’t always boost self-confidence. But at the same time, try not to set high expectations for yourself--keep doing things at your own pace because that’s what makes you unique.
Letting go of your low self-esteem is not an easy task, so give yourself a lot of time. Don’t be afraid to commend yourself when you’ve done a big accomplishment, whether it’s winning a scholarship or getting your first job. Remember that we’re human and we are not designed to be perfect. Even if it’s hard for you to so-so, accept how you are right now--you are awesome.
