Dear Parents with children who have an anxiety disorder,
I'm sure you're almost as anxious about this whole "situation" as your child is. It may scare you; you may want to ignore it and hope it goes away quietly and smoothly. You may want to fight it right alongside your child, and that is great, but know that sometimes they will need space. Whether this is a new diagnosis or you've known about it for years every day is a new challenge with new difficulties, and this is not only hard on your child, but on you as well. I have been scouring the internet in the wake of my own diagnosis for tips and tricks and the one I found the most intriguing is the idea that family may need to go to a therapist or counselor themselves once or twice a year to unload their fears and worries as well. This not only helps you avoid taking out your frustration on your child but also helps you stop keeping things internal which from personal experience helps nothing. When you feel yourself internalizing your child's struggles this may be a sign to seek out help for yourself because much to the public's disbelief therapists are not only for those with disorders. They are there as a confidential source to let it all out.
On a completely different note in regards to your child please listen between the lines. When they say something like "I'm really tired; I don't think I can go to school today" they are likely not making excuses to miss the big physics test, but there is something bugging them about the day to come. I suggest prying (just a little bit--don't go crazy) and asking them a couple questions about the day to come. They will likely let on to something bigger that is festering in their mind; it could even be the physics test. It has become hard for children to open up about their worries in fear that they will be seen as meaningless and that their anxiety is merely an excuse. And if your child (and their doctor) decide that medication might be a good path to explore don't let your hesitations hold your child back from a chance to get stable. As Kristen Bell said so eloquently "if you decide to go on a prescription to help yourself, understand that the world wants to shame you for that, but in the medical community, you would never deny a diabetic his insulin. Ever."
If your child has reached out to you for help do not deny them the chance to get better and know that it was extremely hard for them to come to you in fear of judgement. But if your child has yet to reach out and you have begun to see signs that they may be struggling ease into a conversation about what is worrying them and the rest will follow. And remember it's just a bad day, not a bad life, you can do this.
Sincerely,
Ella
