Dear friends and family and everyone else,

By the time this article will be published, it will have been over two weeks since I lost my brother. It's been a rough two weeks that have been filled with planning and going to his service, talking with the funeral home director, Thanksgiving, and preparing for finals. I went back to school, my clubs, and hanging out with my friends with almost no problem.

I've had a quite few people text me or message me on Facebook. They're concerned that I am seemingly 100% okay. While this is true, that I am seemingly okay, I've got to tell you all something: I'm not. Just because I don't post on Facebook how heartbroken I am doesn't mean that I'm not; I simply do not want to depress people, and quite frankly, I don't want to talk about it to people specifically. (It's much easier writing it once and letting people read it through Odyssey articles.)

That being said, I am pushing through everything and pretending like not much has happened or changed because, like I said in a previous article, I have a new life goal: to somehow diminish the stigma against mental health. I don't want anyone to go through what I'm going through with losing my best friend; I don't want other parents to go through what mine are going through; I don't want other siblings going through what my brother and I am; I don't want friends to have to lose someone who helped shaped their life.

I plan on trying to double major in Creative Writing and Psychology. I plan on writing a memoir. I plan on trying to speak at places similar to TED talks. I'm going to become even more of an advocate of mental health and suicide than I was before. The fact that I can possibly help so many people is what's keeping me so strong right now.

So, thank you to those who are worried about me. If I haven't texted you back, I'm sorry, but it's hard with so many people all asking me the same question. I may not want to directly talk about it now, but when I do, I'm glad that I have such a strong support system here for me. I promise that I'm grieving in my own way and at my own pace. And I do mean it when I say thank you for asking; it really does mean a lot.

-Carey