how to leave an abusive relationship
Health and Wellness

I Found Peace After An Abusive Relationship And So Can You

Yes, I was in an abusive relationship. No, I won't let it define me.

749
sad woman alone
https://c.pxhere.com/photos/f6/78/woman_person_lady_female_silhouette-506929.jpg!d

Some people are good at hiding things. They do this to protect the people they love or to protect the person they thought they loved. And in doing that, there comes a price.

I was one of those people, and keeping that secret destroyed me mentally, emotionally and physically. If you're confused, I guess I should start from the beginning and tell you what I hid for so long.

I met this guy. Let's say his name is Chris. Chris and I were friends at first. Then he asked me on a date, and we saw a movie together. We instantly clicked. We started dating in December, and I fell hard for him.

He was my best friend, and I adored him. Around late December, my grandmother's cancer came back, and I was devastated. Chris was there for me, and I was so grateful for that. But after she passed away, he changed.

After my grandmother's memorial was the first time I saw Chris get angry. We headed back to my dorm, and when we got to my room, I was still upset. And he got annoyed with me and slammed me against the wall. I hit my head pretty hard.

I apologized to Chris. I was afraid of him, but that was only the beginning. When he came over he would grab me and leave bruises. He would yell at me, breaking my spirit more and more.

Chris would be angry whenever I would focus on school or hang with my guy friends. He'd threaten to harm himself. I would always drop everything to make sure that he was okay. I would end up coming back with bruises and scars.

This continued to happen over the four months we dated, and I kept my mouth shut. I was afraid and depressed. I felt so alone.

I changed a lot. My grades began to slip, and I had trouble getting out of bed. Worst of all, I began to fear the people I loved - my friends and family. I didn't want to leave Chris because he would hurt himself and because I loved him. I began to believe that I deserved this, even though I never did.

I was drowning inside, and I didn't think things would ever get better. But one day, after not seeing him for a while, I came back with cuts on my face from Chris.

That was the moment that I finally broke down and told someone. My friends finally knew, and they convinced me to leave him. It was the scariest thing in the world. When I left Chris, I didn't know what to feel. I honestly felt empty. I told my family, and they were shocked and devastated. But I felt nothing.

They say time heals all wounds and scars, and it has taken some time for me to heal. The day after I left him, I still felt empty and afraid. There would be moments when I would have random flashbacks of events that happened to me, and I would just break.

I began to believe that nothing would get better, but eventually, things began to look up. I began to see a school therapist which helped a little bit. But part of me wanted to start fresh and leave this dark part of my story behind. So I did. And I will be starting school somewhere new this fall.

But here I am two months later. I'm still here, processing and putting myself back together. And in all honesty, I'm becoming a much happier person. Yes, I still have nightmares and flashbacks of the events that have occurred, but it's slowly getting better.

And I don't want to be silent about this part of my story anymore.

Yes, I was abused. And I'm slowly putting myself back together. But I won't let it define me anymore.

I will be okay. And to anyone who is reading this and has been or is in an abusive relationship: You will be okay too. I've found peace in this dark part of my story, and so will you. Things do get easier, I promise you.

If you or someone you know is being abused, reach out for help. I promise it will get better.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Swoon

119 People Reveal How The Pandemic Has Affected Their Love Lives, And Honestly... Relatable

"I haven't been able to get out of the 'talking phase' with anyone."

The reality is, there's no part of life the pandemic hasn't affected. Whether it's your work life, your home life, your social life, or your love life, coronavirus (COVID-19) is wreaking havoc on just about everything — not to mention people's health.

When it comes to romance, in particular, people are all handling things differently and there's no "right way" of making it through, regardless of your relationship status (single, taken, married, divorced, you name it). So, some of Swoon's creators sought out to hear from various individuals on how exactly their love lives have been affected since quarantine began.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Nordstrom's Biggest Sale Has The Most Legendary Deals On Luxury Beauty Brands We've Ever Seen

Counting down the days to the Chanel box set gracing my front door.

I oftentimes (excessively) use the excuse of my job as a writer to justify my excessive spending habits.

I needed the new Huda Beauty palette before anyone else in the name of journalistic integrity. It was my job to test out the new Francis Kurkdjian fragrance to make sure I could tell people whether or not it was truly worth the splurge (it was).

Keep Reading... Show less

Listen, you can do whatever you want with your free time. It's yours to spend and you have free range. However, I hope you recognize that there are a ton of proactive things you can do right now instead of stalking your man's ex – yes, I know you do it becuase we are all guilty of it.

Take this time to research your privilege. There are always new things to learn and ways to deepen your understanding of yourself, this world, and your surroundings. We live in a multi-dimensional, ever-changing society that needs your help and your time. By that, I mean there are so many layers to each and every one of us, and with our physical, mental, spiritual, or emotional selves, we can create real, positive change.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Preview These Top Nordstrom Anniversary Sale 2020 Picks — From Luxury Purses To Skincare

Currently 3 million people viewing the Stella McCartney purse I absolutely must have.

Online shopping has been a guilty pleasure of ours for years, but now more than ever it's been a shopping lover's outlet for all our home redecorating projects and resort wear we're purchasing for that trip we had to cancel.

One of my favorite places to (virtually) window shop has always been Nordstrom. I admittedly can't afford to go on sprees there often, but I still get a high off of adding things to my cart I know I'll never actually end up buying. But sometimes, that's not enough — that's when I, like the masses of luxury-, beauty-, fashion-, and decor-lovers around the world count the days down to the annual Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.

Keep Reading... Show less

I remember the days where closet drinking before going to a party or bar was part of the night's itinerary. It was a requirement to have a good buzz flowing before calling the Uber to take you to that bar where you see everyone from your high school at. The pregames were the best part of the night, but it wasn't ever because of the alcohol, it was because of the atmosphere and those who were in it. The number of times I've heard "Wait, why aren't you drinking tonight? C'mon, get drunk with us" is endless, but think about it. Where were you when you were asked that? You were at the goddamn pregame and being there doesn't mean you need to be ripping shots. Being social doesn't require alcohol.

I asked 20 people how they cut back on alcohol while still being social.

Keep Reading... Show less

Whether you are quarantining away from your significant other because of coronavirus or separated by the country lines at this time, it's fair to say that long-distance relationships are tough no matter what. However, there are ways to show love from a distance whether that's through daily FaceTime calls, cute Snapchats, or sexy pics sent to them on their phone. You can brighten up their day even more with some of these unique gifts that can fit any price range and a variety of interests.

Keep Reading... Show less

Rihanna is known for many things: her music, fashion, makeup, and now skincare. As a makeup artist myself, I can confidently say that she rocked the makeup world when she released her makeup line in 2017 and has been influencing the beauty world ever since.

Trying some of her makeup products myself, I know that she doesn't skimp on quality, and even though some of her products may be a little pricey, trust me, you get what you pay for.

Keep Reading... Show less

Friends, no one needs to be reminded that the COVID-19 pandemic rages on in the U.S. Frankly, this is because we have all collectively decided not to do the one simple thing that was asked of us and wear a mask.

I could make this a very boring article, and berate you with facts and statistics and the importance of wearing a mask, but I have opted against that for both of our sakes. Instead, I will attempt to reach you in another way. You might not care about a disapproving look from me, but from Nick Miller? Maybe that will be enough to change your mind.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments