Do you ever look back at a time when you knew someone well and think, “Wow, how things have changed?" You don’t know why you stopped being friends and you can’t pinpoint the moment when everything changed, but you sit back and think of the person you used to know instead of the person you see now. In my 22 years I have known my fair share of friends walking out, outgrowing friends, as well as some nasty splits between friends. I know that I am not done losing or making friends, but for right now I just want some closure.

I was listening to Taylor Swift’s “Bad Blood” and thought, “What could’ve possibly happened for Taylor to write such a cut throat song about a friend?” I mean, it had to be bad because she says, “band-aids don’t fix bullet holes." That is a pretty deep wound! I get that when wounds are healing we can be bitter about the past, but having a constant reminder of the person you used to know (like a song), to me, would be much more painful than the memories.

I chose to write an open letter to my past friends because when I think about going our separate ways, it make me nostalgic, but overall it gives me a sense of satisfaction because things happened how they needed to so that we could become the people we wanted to be. I’m not holding anything against you, I don’t know when things changed, but I will do my part and take responsibility for my doings and undoings. Events leading up to the split were not necessarily bad, we just grew apart. You moved on with your group of friends that I didn’t fit in with and that’s okay because I will never ask you to deny a part of yourself that is important to you. Change can be painful, but sometimes it is better to make a change than stay in a friendship that is more harmful than helpful.

I’m sure I have a lot of apologies to make for not being a good friend over the years, but out of all my friendships I have one HUGE apology to make. At the end of high school, I neglected one of my best friends that I had known for 7 years. She attempted to reach out and get a hold of me an ample amount of times, but I was too busy with new friends that I failed to realize that I was pushing her aside. I gave up on our friendship all too quickly and though I saw change coming, for her it was a complete blind side hit. I know that the change was difficult and that I wasn’t a good friend, and for that, I truly apologize.

I’ll have you know that I have had that same neglect shown to me, so I have learned my lesson.

If you’re wondering what happened with that friend, I did try to reach out to her down the road, but in the end we had both moved on from the friendship. It was unfortunate, but I have only fond memories and hope she’s happy. In fact, I wish all my past friends good luck with the future. I hope that they are happy and enjoy the people that surround them now and know that there is no “bad blood” on this end. So this is my farewell to my nostalgic memories and past friends.

Here is to moving forward and letting go of the past.