Dear Friend,
Everybody has been through something you may not understand, and it is imperative that you know that. I’ve suffered from and kicked depression’s butt and have struggled with anxiety almost all of my life. There may come a time, in your future, that you experience the pain of depression, but I hope you never do. There are just a few things that I want you to understand if you have a friend or family member that struggles with a mental disorder.
I would not wish a mental disorder upon anyone. I don’t want to have anxiety attacks and feel like I’m being judged for overreacting because I overthink everything that happens to me. Please do not make jokes about mental disorders because it’s not funny. Joking about killing yourself is no longer a joke to me. I don’t ever want you to understand the kind of struggle it is to live with a mental disorder, so please do not use it as a joke.
People with mental disorders are very good at hiding it. Be careful what you say and please be kind because you have no idea what someone may be going through. If you’ve ever met me, especially during the time of my depression, I seem like the happiest girl in the world. While I do take pride in my successes, it doesn’t mean that I don’t still feel worthless sometimes. I’ll never express any dark thoughts to you because I don’t want to put my burdens onto you.
While I’m telling you what not to say, I should also advise you on what you should say. I want you to know that your kindness does help. Go out of your way to compliment someone on what a great job they’re doing because it will make them feel incredible. Take the time to listen to someone who’s had a bad day. Be a friend.
However, I don’t want your sympathy. If you know someone with a mental disorder, do not treat them any differently than you did before. The reason I hate opening up about my mental disorders is because I think people will treat me differently. I am growing as a person on my own, and I’m proud of it. Don’t set me back from that.
One of the most important things that I want you to know is that mental disorders are not “cool.” They will not make you cool, they are not the popular thing to do, but they are serious. It bothers me when people try to glamorize mental disorders. There is nothing glamorous about swollen eyes, blood red cuts, or addiction. Buy the new iPhone if you want to be cool; don’t try to make yourself sad for the sympathy you think you’ll get.
Lastly, I want to thank you for being the friend that we need. The friends of someone with a mental disorder have to endure a lot of stress and I thank you for staying. It can be really hard to take care of someone who doesn’t know how to take care of themselves. But I want you to take care of yourself too. You can’t keep shining your positive light onto others if you’re starting to dim. Just because you don’t have a mental disorder, doesn’t mean you don’t need mental health days. So do some yoga, listen to music and hold yourself together because one of us needs to.
Sincerely,
The Girl Who’s Still Finding Her Way
