There's one at every lunch table. Sometimes they're hiding behind smiles and bright eyes, sometimes they're shoved into the corner, forgotten, and sometimes, they're completely alone.
There's always a kid who feels a little out of place, like their bones don't quite fit under their skin, and everyone can see it. There's a bit of that kid in all of us, and some of us haven't quite gotten over it.
I was that kid. In many ways, I still am that kid, although I've certainly gotten a lot better since my freshman year of high school. Which I largely owe to my guidance counselor and one of my English teachers, but I digress.
Point is, I know what it's like to think all of your friends secretly hate you... And I can tell you, 99.99% of the time, they don't. 99.99% of the time, they have absolutely no clue that you feel like you stick out or like they're mad at you. Which isn't exactly great, but it's a hell of a lot better than them hating you.
And, if your friends ARE mean to you, then screw 'em. They're potatoes, and you deserve better. It can be easy to fall into patterns of people treating you badly, and to blame yourself, or think you somehow deserve it.
Spoiler alert: You don't.
I know sometimes, it's easy to forget that. Sometimes when you're lying in bed looking at your ceiling in the dark your heart clenches and twists and your head is spinning and it's hard to breathe, because all you can think of is all the stupid things you've ever said or done... I've been there too.
So, I'm going to tell you what one of my friends told me when I told him how I was feeling:
Life is too short to worry about half the things we tend to stress about. Most of it either works out or ends up being a non-issue.
And, as loathed as I am to admit it, he's right.
As hard as it is to realize it when in the throes of anxiety, most things are really inconsequential.
People care about you. Don't wallow in your sadness -- although a measure of angst is healthy, it's not good to be one of those people that make artists and non-poser Goth kids roll their eyes.
People care about you, as hard as that is to believe sometimes. You're worth something.
People care about you.
