To my best guy friend who left me,
I can honestly say I miss you. I miss everything about you. I miss our little talks. I miss our crazy adventures to Sonic and even the pointless trips the mall. But most of all, I just miss your presence. I miss the spell you put on me, the way you made me feel. I miss the way you loved me. The way you loved me was like any other, so pure and what I thought was genuine, but I guess I was wrong. I guess you just needed to show love when it was convenient for you, to make you feel complete or like you were superman. Whatever it was, it hurts more to think about it now more than ever before.
You see, I haven't thought about you in years. I haven't been in a place where I need you in who knows how long. I actually have come so far from the person I used to be, I know you would be proud of me. I know you would see all these things I'm doing with life and you would do nothing but smile and give me the biggest hug. I'm pretty sure that I could go as far as saying that you would be right here next to me living this beautiful life. And I think that's what hurts the most: the fact that I know exactly where we could be if you were still around. But you're not.
You left me.
You decided that I wasn't worth it anymore. You decided that your girlfriend who had known you for two months was more important than a friendship that was longer than half your life.
You destroyed me.
You destroyed my ability to love. You tormented me to the point where I lost the ability to trust. You took so much of me that I barely knew who I was.
But through all the pain, I say thank you.
Thank you for hurting me, it made me stronger. Thank you for never truly loving me because it made me search for true love. Thank you for choosing her over me; it made me see that you aren't the one for me. Thank you for making me loose my sense of self; it made me go on this beautiful journey of self-discovery. Thank you for leaving during the time you did; it made me stand on my own during the worst time of my life.
Most of all, thank you for the new demand for more.
With you, I never hurt, never failed, never tried. With you I was safe. I was in my comfort zone. But without you, I have failed miserably, but I picked myself back up. Without you, I have taken risks I never thought possible and I have never been OK with mediocrity. You see, with you, I just thought this was love and that it was the way I was meant to be treated. But without you, I am free to explore and I have even come to demand more. I demand more love, more life, and more of myself.
So I say all that to say this: I am doing good without you.
Love,
Somebody you used to know
