Dear "man" from my past,
So, you probably think I am writing this letter to explain how you broke my heart or how I will never love again since you are no longer in my life. If that is your thought process -- change it. I want to explain how you broke my definition of the word "love" and how I realized a woman should be treated in a relationship. Yes, you broke my heart. Yes, you were the first guy I truly loved, I thought you may have been "the one" that every girl hopes for. Yes, we were friends but you exhibited behavior that did not match that label. You confused me and I had a constant battle in my mind on our "status." Thankfully, all of these feelings were broken these past few months.
Before I explain what you taught me, I would like to start by saying thank you for the good times we had together. Thank you for the lunch and dinner dates. Thank you for introducing me to things I had never tried before. Thank you for being there on the days that I felt like leaving and never coming back. Thank you for introducing me to your family and allowing them to be such an influence on my life. Thank you for the laughs and memories we had over coffee. Most importantly, thank you for showing me how I do not deserve to be treated.
I see now that I was your "go-to-girl" when you needed to feel loved or needed someone to spend time with. I was the girl that encouraged you when no one else did -- without any encouragement in return. I loved you and that is not a love that was reciprocated. I thought I was your best friend when I was really just your conditional friend. You acted like you loved me some days and then others you made me feel like I was just a chip on your shoulder that you could brush off at any time. And most of the time, you did just that. You would brush me off until you needed someone again and guess who was there every time you needed someone? Me.
That will no longer be the case. I will no longer be your "go-to" because I do not deserve that title. I do not deserve to feel wanted some days and unworthy of your love on others. I realized that I was allowing myself to be the one to pursue you and what I thought could be a lifelong relationship when you were actually created to pursue me. I realized that you are supposed to be the man of the relationship- the one to love, care for, encourage and exhibit the love of Jesus through your actions.
In my future relationships, I will remember you. Not because I miss you, but for the simple fact that I never want to feel this way again. I never want to chase after a man who does not deserve my love -- not because you are undeserving as a person, but your actions are unworthy of being loved unconditionally by me. I pray one day that you will see how you treat women and you will change your ways.
When you find the woman that you see as "worthy" of your love- treat her with the same respect that you expect. Treat her with love and compassion as close to the love of our Heavenly Father as possible. Show her that she is wanted and that she is your world. Remind her daily that she is beautiful and will always be the love of your life. Never stop dating her and surprising her with her favorite candy. Do a few chores around the house or wash her car. Simple acts of love go a long way.
You may never read this, but there is a woman out there that needs to be reminded of what she deserves. Maybe even a man that needs to be reminded of his role as the man, not just another guy. Thank you again for breaking what I thought a relationship encompassed and showing me how love should actually be shown.
Sincerely,
The "broken" girl
