Bulimia(n): an emotional disorder involving distortion of body image and an obsessive desire to lose weight, in which bouts of extreme overeating are followed by depression and self-induced vomiting, purging, or fasting. Many as 10% of college women suffer from bulimia. Here is my story:
I have mentioned in a previous article that I have struggled with my weight for many years. I believe I started "dieting" as young as age 13 but the McDonald's 10 piece chicken nugget, McDouble, large fry, and vanilla milkshake or sweet tea, won that battle.
One night, when I was a sophomore in high school, I was watching Degrassi. It was the episode where Manny and Emma started making themselves vomit so that Manny can look skinnier for her audition. That night something struck me. Maybe forcing myself to throw up will work for me. That night I went into my bathroom, turned the shower on, grabbed my toothbrush and forced myself to throw up. I did that routine every night. When I thought my parents were catching on to something, I would force myself to throw up when I got home from school when no one was home.
It worked for a while, I was getting smaller. Numbers on the scale were going down but then it stopped. So I started puking twice a day. I continued on for maybe six months. I started to notice that I had stopped eating altogether. Then a few weeks after that, I noticed that I was getting light headed, dizzy, weak. Didn't really put two and two together until I started losing my hair (anyone who knows me, knows my hair is really important to me). I googled reasons for hair loss, one of the things that popped up is bulimia. That day, I quit and I quit for a long time. It wasn't until my senior year of high school that it popped up again but this time it was because I would eat something bad for me so I would try to "destroy the evidence". This went on for quite some time.
I finally quit for good, August of 2016. I wanted to start fresh. I was going to a new town, new school and I didn't want to be defined as a number on a scale anymore. I was going to be happy with how I was. My tip for someone who is struggling with an eating disorder is find someone who can hold you accountable, anytime you get the urge, call that person up. Another tip, don't look at the scale. A number doesn't define your worth. One last tip, don't downplay this disorder. If you ask for help, explain to them EVERYTHING.
Websites you can get support:
https://www.eatingrecoverycenter.com
https://bulimia.supportgroups.com/
