Because of you, I will never get back the girl I once knew. You changed her in ways you'll never know.
I have had the privilege of growing up with one of my very best friends. It all started with a soccer game when we were nine, and the rest was history. She is my inspiration in so many ways and (despite the days I want to strangle her for some decisions she makes) I love her unconditionally. She is this and so much more. But on that night, when you decided to rape her, you took her from us and she has never been the same.
I remember the day she told me so clearly because I still get that feeling in my stomach every time I think back on it. She told me about it so casually, like it was no big deal. Truthfully, I'm not sure she had even really grasped the reality that it had happened to her in the first place. All I remember was just sitting there in disbelief and anger. I just wanted to sit there and bawl in the middle of the restaurant for her. How could this happen? We hear stories of it happening to people all of the time but never do we actually think it could happen to us or to one of our friends.
Because of you, she will never be the same.
The night you decided to take advantage of my friend was the night I lost the girl I once knew. Because of you, she will never be able to go to the same parties anymore. Why? You're there. Because of you, she will never be able to trust men the same way again. Why? She once trusted you. Because of you, my friend who used to light up about certain things no longer has that light in her anymore. Why? You stole that light.
So, to the rapist who raped my friend, here is what I have to say to you.
To you, this was just another drunken hookup, but, to her, this was a traumatic event that changed her in ways you'll never know. You may never feel bad or understand the damage you have caused, but I hope you keep one thing in mind.
When you lay awake at night unable to sleep, I hope my friend's face appears, and I hope you feel the guilt of what you have done to her. In the deepest pit of your stomach, I hope that you feel the kind of guilt and sadness you can't shake, no matter what you tell yourself or what you do. I hope it just lingers. I hope the world learns the truth and I hope you feel as low as you made her feel when you told those lies to her friends.
The world may never know what you did to her that night when she was passed out drunk. They may never know how you invited her in as a friend, took off her clothes, and took advantage of her while she was asleep and unconscious. But, I know. She is my best friend, and, no matter how many times I tell her I love her or tell her that it was not her fault, I feel like she will never truly believe it all because of you.
I wish I could put into words the anger and hurt I feel toward you for doing this to her, but the real emotions of the story aren't mine to speak on. I'll never know the thoughts that consume her on a daily basis or the nightmares that keep her from sleeping at night. It's her story to tell, and one day, if she ever taps into that strength and courage that I admire, she will tell it. I hope she shouts it loud and clear for everyone to hear, and your true self will be exposed.
That night, you may have taken the girl I used to know from me, but you will never be able to take who she truly is and has always been in her heart. She is strong, beautiful, kind-hearted and funny. She's everything that I aspire to be like every day. The fact that she keeps going despite the sight of your face day after day is a definition of strength and bravery that I will never be able to understand. Regardless, I'm so proud of her. In the end, I can only hope that the universe does its thing, and you get what you deserve.
