Dear Loved One,
I wanted so much more for you. I recently looked back on some pictures from years ago, and, I’m not going to lie, it was hard to imagine that life with you was once enjoyable. I miss the laughs, the late nights, the inside jokes, the random adventures, and so much more. You were once my best friend; you were the one I told everything to. I wish so badly that you were still that person for me.
You were once this absolutely stunning individual, inside and out. Now, when I look at you, I don’t even recognize you. You always had a strong will; now, you are shy and timid, because you let someone change you. You once had big dreams for yourself; now, there isn’t a spark of hope in your eyes. You gave up your appearance, your standards, your future, your family, your friends, and, truth be told, your life. You gave all of that up to live a life of misery with someone who doesn’t treat you with the respect you deserve and once demanded.
When we talk, now, it’s just empty conversation. I dread having to see you, because I know that you won’t be as excited as I am to spend a few hours with you; I dread time with you because I know that all you are going to talk about is yourself. I know you’ll show up high because you apparently can’t stand the thought of having a lucid mind around me. You know that I’m right, and you know that if you didn’t show up in an altered state of mind that you would stand up for yourself instead of letting the person you’ve chosen to live with control you.
I hate the strain that you’ve put on our relationship because I don’t feel as comfortable with you as I once was. I wish I could talk to you about the things that have weighed on my heart for so long. If I could talk to you, I would ask you, beg you, to leave the life that you’re in. I’d tell you to do something for yourself, because the people you’ve let into your life are only dragging you down. I’d tell you that it’s not too late to make something of yourself. There are plenty of opportunities still available to you and plenty of people that are still willing to help. Most importantly, I’d tell you that I still love you, and I will always have hope for you. Those are two things that will never change.
I hope that in the meantime you’re getting something out of the life you’ve chosen. I pray for your safety and that you’ll come home soon. I love you.
Always,
Madi
