Dear mom,
Our relationship hasn’t always been the easiest of mother-daughter relationships. Growing up, I would envy those friends of mine who were best friends with their moms and seemed to rarely ever disagree on anything. As a kid, I often felt overwhelmed by the extremely high expectations you had of me and feared that I would never be able to live up to your standards. As a teenager, our interactions were often filled with heated arguments, condescending lectures, and firm disagreements. During those years, I could not understand why you didn’t see things my way and had to fight me on almost every decision I would make. You were persistent, stubborn, and too much of a perfectionist for me to handle. Towards the end of high school, moving out was quite frankly my biggest fantasy.
Today, it has been almost a year since I left home for college and being away from home has allowed me to gain a whole new perspective. I have come to realize that maybe our identical facial features are not the only characteristics we share. I often find myself being persistent, stubborn, and too much of a perfectionist in my everyday life and I no longer view these as negative traits. I find myself making all the mistakes you warned me not to make in your lectures, and coming out to learn the same lessons you were trying to teach me all along. I surprise myself everyday when I realize that the values you imposed on me during high school that I despised so much, have become a way of life I cherish living today. Finally, I have realized that maybe the reason we rarely got along as I was growing up is because we are simply both too stubborn, too much alike.
I want to thank you for raising me with such high standards. Everything I am today is because of you. My love for languages, my appreciation for literature, my social skills, even my passion for politics and the future career I hope to pursue. Because of you, adjusting to life in America was not difficult, as you pushed me to learn English since the age of three. Because of you, reading and writing in my second language is not a burden; but rather a skill and a source of joy, as you always encouraged me to read advanced novels and appreciate the beauty of words since a very young age. Because of you, I have learned to treat everyone with respect, despite a possible conflict of interest, and to always be kind to others no matter what. Because of you, I am strong and independent, and I know that small everyday difficulties should never get in the way of accomplishing my long term goals. Because of you, I push myself out of my comfort zone at all times, as I know that my full capability is something that can always grow and that it’s never too late to try. And because of you, I have been blessed with knowing what it’s like to have someone love me more than they love themselves, and do whatever they can to make sure I have a happy, successful life.
Anytime someone I know points out the similarities in the way we act, talk, or look, it warms my heart. You are an amazing woman, mother, wife, and daughter and I could only hope to be as inspirational as you are someday. I am thankful for everything you have done for me and our family and how extraordinarily our relationship has improved in the past year. I am glad to have finally built the friendship I always aspired to have with you, and I thank you for finally treating me as an intellectual equal. Today, it amazes me to see that we no longer disagree and that you trust me to make my own decisions, and support me on whatever I choose to do. My biggest goal in life is to make you proud and to show you that the sacrifices you made and the endless fights we sometimes had have all been worth it. Thank you again for being my biggest support system and role model in life.
Sincerely,
Your stubborn eldest daughter
