Dear Dad,

I want to start by saying I love you. I love you but I hate you at the same time.

I want you to know you hurt me. The days you left and never came back when I was just a child. The days we spent worrying about where you were and if you were safe. The days I spent crying because mama couldn't be there and you chose not to be there. You thought it was okay to pick and choose when you came and when you left. But that's not how life is supposed to work. You were supposed to be there loving me and Matthew unconditionally not leaving us constantly. Not choosing the drugs and alcohol over us.

I want you to know I'm sorry. I don't really feel that I have much to be sorry for but still, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you have never been a big part of my life. I'm sorry you've missed so many of my accomplishments. I'm sorry that the only time you heard I did something good was when it was in the newspaper. I'm sorry that you've made me a choice, not a priority.

I want you to know I'm doing just fine without you. Don't ever think you have to worry about me because I can take care of myself. I've made it this far and I'm gonna make it even farther and I don't need you to do anything.

I want you to know you are my father but you're not my dad. A dad is someone who loves you unconditionally and is there for you 110 percent of the time. You haven't been that for me, you've always been in and out at your convenience.

I want you to know I'm done. I'm done trying to please you when all you do is hurt me. I'm done getting my hopes up that you're gonna change. I'm done listening to you apologize when I know you're just going to do the same things constantly. I'm done losing sleep over you. I'm done listening to you complain about how much life sucks and how the people you're around suck when no one can change it but you.

I want to tell you, thank you. Even though I've been hurt more times than I can count and have cried more tears than I'd like to admit. I owe you a thank you. I learned to overcome and I'm stronger because of that and for that, I owe you a thank you.

I want you to know I forgive you. Forgiveness is one of those things that are hard especially when someone's put you through so much. But I forgive because not forgiving you only hurts me. Even though you've put me through hell, I forgive you. Even though you've made me feel like I wasn't good enough, I forgive you.

I have all the tools I need to make it through life. I have great friends, a great community, a great family, and a great God. I can follow my dreams and become successful without you.