I am writing you this letter because it’s been over two years since I left this part of my life behind. I finally left that closet and showed the ones closest to me who I truly was.

I’ll admit, coming out is hard. Looking at yourself in the mirror and saying those three words “I am gay” can be one of the hardest truths to admit, and I won’t lie that the first time I ever stated those words, I cried. I had known the fact for years, but I never actually said it. When I did, it was as if a thousand bricks were taken off my shoulders; I’ve never felt a bigger relief than that.

Let me tell you this. I know that you think you’ll lose friends or family. I know you think the worst will happen. Don’t let those thoughts control you. Know that if you lose friends due to coming out, then they were never your true friends anyways. True friends stay with you, no matter what. You will lose friends because of this and it will hurt. Just remember that they liked the way that you pretended to be, but once you showed your true self, they couldn’t handle it. They didn’t accept the truth and left, and you deserve better than that. You will find amazing friends that love you for you and wouldn't want you any other way. They will make you completely forget about those that left. You will get through this.

When it comes to family, you hear about all of these coming-out horror stories in which a child comes out to their parents and they are kicked out to live on the streets, or taken to conversion therapy, or just beaten senseless. In your case, you always knew that this wouldn’t happen to you. You knew that your dad and siblings would accept you and that it wouldn’t be a big deal. And it wasn’t. But be prepared because your dad will need to adjust. So give him time. He’s new to this. But don’t worry, he will adapt and things will be better than ever with you and your father’s relationship. Though I know that you worry - and even I still worry - about your extended family, be confident in yourself. The thought of losing them will cross your mind. I know the majority of them grew up very religious, including yourself, and they were told the unspeakable horrors of homosexuality. But be true to yourself. It’s a legitimate fear, and that’s the major reason that I have yet to come out to them. But you are you, and you should be loved how you are. Some of them may read this article, and I just have to say that I am sorry. I could never muster up the bravery to tell them to their faces. But this is me.

I know how much this burden has affected you; I know the depression that it drove you into. People don’t realize that growing up in a religion where you are practically told that, if you are your true self, then you’re going to hell, can really mess up a kid. Often people think that private religious schools are these prestigious places and kids at them are the same, and public schools are where the delinquents attend. But from first-hand experience, I can say that going to a public high school was the best experience in my school career because of the accepting atmosphere and the diversity. I know that our family spent a great deal of money on a private first-through-eighth-grade education and that we could never thank them enough. But a closeted kid growing up in that atmosphere can be very affected, and it’s not something that will just go away; that piece, those memories of crying yourself to sleep and those hurtful words that other said indirectly, will always be in the back of your mind.

Through all of this, the key reason that I’m writing to you is to let you know that the other side is amazing. I know that I have it a lot better than other LGBT kids, and that my coming out story was a breeze compared to others, but you can’t let that drag you down. You have to use that privilege to help others who didn’t have that great of a time coming out or are still going through the process. I know it sounds hard. Trust me, I’m still working on it. But you cannot let the opportunity to help so many others like you go to waste. Since coming out, I have had problems, but that’s normal. I got past them and I got stronger, and every day I have to come out to new people I meet. People don’t realize that coming out is a lifelong process; it’s not just a one-time thing. You have to come out at a new job or in new classes; you may have to come out to every new person you meet. It never stops. But also on the other side, you live your life constantly in fear that someone you meet and come out to will react negatively and harm you, so with everyone you meet you have to do a mental debate on whether or not you will be safe in the situation. But don't let that scare you, you're stronger than that fear.

I’ll be honest, life would be easier on if I would’ve just remained in the closet. But even if this life was easier, I’d still feel the way you are right now: alone, trapped, and plain miserable. I don’t ever want anyone to feel like that. Even though life would be exceptionally different and possibly easier, I wouldn’t give up coming out for anything. I wish I didn’t need to come out. I wish heterosexuality wasn’t just assumed for everyone, but this is the ever-changing world that we currently live in so we must accommodate.

I know that I haven’t been out for long and I still have a great deal to experience, but just remember: you’re strong, you’re worth it, and you’re not alone. You’ll never be alone. Things will get better, no matter how bad they get.