To anyone who still says the R word:
I know what you might say to me. “It’s just a word, why does it matter?” And you’re right. It is a word. But it’s not “just” anything. Words have meaning, words have significance. Words create emotions and reactions. Saying that this word is just like any other word is incorrect. This word has a meaning and a history behind it.
You might think that your words don’t affect other people. You might think “if I’m not saying it in front of someone with a disability, then it’s okay.” But you never know the stories of those around you. When you say that word to me, you aren’t just saying it to your peer. You’re saying that word to a girl whose brother has an intellectual disability. You are hurting me and my family. You could be saying that word in front of someone with a family member or friend who has a cognitive impairment. You could be saying it in front of someone who has a cognitive impairment and you might not even know because not every disability is visible.
Consider the meaning you put behind that word. When you say the R word casually, you make it synonymous with stupidity, insignificance, and you put your target beneath you. This, in turn, associates people who have disabilities with stupidity and insignificance. When you use the R word, you are continuing the cycle of putting down people with intellectual disabilities. You are targeting those who cannot always defend themselves.
There are so many other words you could use. So many words that don’t offend or belittle people. If you can only think of that word to say, then honestly, that’s very uncreative of you. I could write you a book of words you could use instead. If you’re claiming that you use that word because you can’t think of any other words to say, then why don’t you buy a thesaurus. Or better yet, use the internet! Find some new words to use. You aren’t limited to using an offensive term that hurts people.
Saying this word might not seem hurtful to you, but you should consider how others around you may feel. I’m not trying to shame you for your word choices, but rather make you think about the impact you have on people around you. With the use of that word, you are perpetuating the stigma surrounding those with disabilities. All of your words have meaning. Choose them carefully.
Sincerely,
Someone Who’s Sick of Hearing The R Word
