To all of the people who bullied me while I was growing up:
Please know that you were not original. Sorry to break it to my grade school bullies, but some different ones showed up when I was the new kid in middle school. You middle school bullies should be ashamed about how you pale in comparison to the ones in high school. There were ones before all of you, and there will surely be ones after you. You were all unkind and none of you had much common sense knockin' around that noggin of yours. I wish that was something my nine to 16-year-old mind understood.
You should be aware of what you did to my mental health. In third grade when you told our teacher that I threatened you, you hurt me more than you know. I later on tried to drink so much water that I would pass out(I thought I remembered hearing my family talk about a young man about doing this). At the time, the teacher called me dramatic. She was wrong. My 7-year-old self felt so hurt by your lies, that I thought it would have been necessary to harm myself. This is something I am willing to laugh about now, but how unhappy must I have been? In sixth grade, the jokes about my gorgeous curly hair and growing body made me hate the way I look. It was you that made me question my beauty. You high school bullies were the worst. You did not even know me. You couldn't even tell me my first name, yet you found a way to make me question everything about myself. You made me feel unworthy.
If you were unaware, mental health can directly affect your physical health. I have an incredibly unhealthy relationship with food, and that has a direct correlation with how I handled what you put me through. I am hurting, and I am still dealing with the remnants of your cruel jokes and threats. Do not get me wrong, I am loving and working on myself more than ever, but that is through no help from you. My friends and family have done everything they can to help me get where I am, and I will get where I am going because of them. You, on the other hand, had friends that egged you on and allowed your unacceptable behavior.
More than anything in this world, I want you to know that I forgive you. I am a strong believer in "forgiving, but not forgetting". How else will I teach my children based on my experience? However, my growth would be stunted without forgiveness. Not only do I forgive you, but I sincerely wish you the best. I can only hope that you do better for the generation to follow. In high school, my mother had to work so hard to defend me, because your mother didn't do what she could to stop you. I implore you to not be your mother. Like my mother, I will do my best to ensure the healthiest and most loving environment for my child. If you will not do the same, how can you expect our children to live and do better than us?
Finally, for anyone who is being bullied and still reading; go to someone. I should have gone to someone long before high school. Your bullies are not the end all be all. You're going to go out into the world and meet new people who'll love and appreciate you. Do not let these people lower your self worth.
If at any point, someone gets you to think that your life is not worth living, they are wrong. Please do not hesitate to reach out for help from the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (8255). If that even makes you uncomfortable, my twitter DMs are always open, and I will always be that person you need.
