To My Little Sister:

You drive me nuts. I don’t think I’ve argued with anyone in the world more than I have with you. You know each and every one of my buttons and boy do you love to push them. You were the baby of the family and the jealousy that caused only made matters worse. For a long time I wondered if we’d ever get along. Then, suddenly, it came time for you to go to middle school...and I was terrified for you.

Middle school was, for me at least, the worst time of my life. It wasn’t my first encounter with bullies, but it was where I met the most degrading of any bullies I’d ever dealt with. It was the first time I really experienced feeling genuinely lonely, isolated, even betrayed. I couldn’t bear to see you endure those same things. I realized then and there how much I cared about the one person who, for years and years, had been constantly driving me crazy. And when you inevitably encountered the bullies that accompany the middle school experience, I realized that I wanted nothing more than to protect this little girl who got under my skin like no other. I wanted to march into that school myself, give each and every person who’d taken a shot at you a piece of my mind, then walk you out with your head held high.

Unfortunately, I can’t do that. What I can do, however, is give you the best advice I’ve got to offer, and hope that it makes things easier for you than they were for me. First off, it genuinely does not matter what anyone else thinks. And I know this is a cliché. I also know that I’ve hardly even come to terms with it myself. It’s a hard thing to really believe in, no matter how true you know it to be. But remember, it is true. People will judge you and they will judge one another. They will judge without knowing an entire story. You’ll do it too. It’s human. But the judgements of other people are all too often based outside of reality, outside of your control, and ultimately portray more about the people making those judgements than the people who they’re judging. It’s important to know this, because no matter who you are or how you lead your life, people will think and say things about you that you will know not to be true. It will be hard to tolerate, but infinitely less detrimental to your own self-opinion so long as you know who you truly are.

That’s important, too--knowing who you are. If you find yourself lonely, bored, or even dealing with a difficult situation, take it as an opportunity to find and develop who you are. You’ll want to achieve perfection. But, seeing as you’re only human, you’ll have to cut yourself some slack. Set the bar as high as you want, as long as you know that you can deal with the possibility of not reaching it. If you come close to a bar set that high, then that’s a feat in itself. Give yourself a pat on the back. Keep trying. Failure is not the end. It is a side effect of trying.

Now, so long as you’re coming to terms with your own imperfection, realize that other people are facing the same reality. See, throughout schooling, and life too, people will hurt you. Not one person you encounter is going to be perfect. Do not expect perfection from people, but do not allow that compassion to get yourself walked all over. When it’s time to walk away from something or someone, you’ll know. No friendship should continuously hurt you. And, if that’s the case, it is not a friendship. However, if someone does make a mistake, forgiveness will never serve you wrong. After all, forgiveness does not mean you have to invite anyone back into your life, it just frees yourself of the burden of bitterness.

And besides, your current social, emotional, etc. position does not, by any means, dictate your perpetual state throughout life. Look at me. I was absolutely miserable in middle school. Now, I’m eighteen and thrilled with my stake in life. And that’s not to mention the fact that you’re already worlds tougher than I ever was at your age--or I even am now. Let’s be honest; I could still cry if anyone said something mean to me. You, on the other hand, refuse to shed a tear for anyone or anything that’s not worth your while. I really don’t know how you do it. Maybe you should be giving me advice.

But, so long as you’re being tough and strong, I think I might remind you, that bottling up emotions is not exactly good for you. You have me to talk to, and if you’re not interested in that offer, you have mom and dad, too. Now, we got lucky with these two. Trust and be honest with them, and they will trust you. That’s it. That’s the secret. They will love you no matter what. Don’t hold out on them.

You are so talented and so special in so many ways. Like I said, you can never be perfect, but to me, to mom and dad, and everyone else who loves you, you are perfect. We love you in your entirety. We will never stop, even on the days when you’re sick of us or we’ve all been pushing each other’s buttons. I will love you until it annoys you--and I know it has. If I can make it through middle school, little sis’, so can you.

Lots of Love,