Online Dating Can Be One Of The Worst Experiences In College

Let's Just Say It, Online Dating Can Be One Of The Worst College Experiences

I don't even know where to begin.

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The smartphone took away the human need for in-person contact without addressing a desire for intimacy, creating a kicking, screaming baby: the dating app. While some experiences can be worthwhile, dating apps such as Tinder and Bumble have caused distress in the college dating community.

Many students find it challenging to stay interested enough to meet the person they've been chatting with in person. Conversations are harder to keep alive, intentions aren't clear enough and it's easier to be judgmental toward someone when you're speaking to them for the first time online.

Speaking from experience, when you finally do find someone worth meeting in person from Tinder or Bumble, the first date can often times be different — and worse — than expected. Most of the time, this is because the image created in your head of your newest match usually doesn't add up to how they are in real life.

According to Psychology Today, the variety of potential partners offered through dating apps can make it even more difficult when it comes to searching for a relationship. With so many virtual profiles to consider, many single people find that online dating isn't as helpful as originally thought.

A quarter of 25- to 40-four-year-olds use online dating apps, but only about five percent of users are able to successfully form a relationship from them. If you have ever been on Tinder, you can already agree to the fact that its focus is more toward instant satisfaction rather than a long-term, healthy relationship.

"Dating today is a nightmare," says Behavioral Psychologist and Author Barry Schwartz told Psychology Today.

For each first meeting, you don't know what to expect — so expect the worst. Many women who are dating tend to send their current location to their close friends, bring along pepper spray and mentally prepare. While not all first dates are awful enough to take action, it's better to be safe than sorry when a date goes south.

There are bad experiences involved with online dating as a college student, but we can't let that keep us from looking for relationships. If you aren't a fan of apps like Tinder, try being more friendly to peers during class, club meetings or parties. You never know if sparks fly unless you try.

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To The Sweet Girl With A Broken Heart

Words of wisdom for every girl...

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To the sweet girl with a broken heart,

Do you feel like you're stuck in this hole, six feet under, with absolutely no way to get out? You are not alone, and I promise you there is a ladder just waiting for you to climb it. I know your heart feels like it's been shot, and your gut feels like it's been punched one hundred times.

This feeling is just temporary, and I can tell you that because I've experienced it first hand. I know you feel alone, and like you're the only person who has ever felt this much heartache. I can promise you that you are never alone, and there are so many girls that can relate to you in ways you never thought possible. Don't let one guy dictate your way of life. Don't let one guy dull your sparkle.

Don't let one guy change your heart, or your remarkable personality. Sounds really silly when you read it back doesn't it? All of this hurt, tears, and confusion over one guy! Don't get me wrong, I know that this one guy was your world, you truly thought he was going to be in your life forever.

Up until this point, you didn't see a life without him in it. Girlfriend, look at yourself in the mirror. You are doing this whole breakup thing all on your own, and you're doing a great job at it. You picked up the pieces, and are carrying on all by yourself. You have been through the most extreme roller coaster of emotions, and you road it solo.

That says something, something really special. That says that you are stronger than you ever thought you were. Realize that! This is God's plan for you, to show you just how amazing you are. That you can conquer all things, and handle them in the most graceful way possible.

You are special. You are beautiful. You are unique. You are you! And that's one hell of a thing to be because you are the only you on this planet!

Lift your chin up, hold your head high, and show the world exactly who you are. Never change for anybody. Ever! Heck, get back to that girl you were before him. Strong, independent, confident, selfish. I know the word selfish seems so, well, selfish. But It's okay to be selfish sometimes, especially when it comes to defending your own heart.

Take that vacation, dress up just because, do your makeup and take selfies just because you want to, go to the gym, get that tan, go to that party, spend time with your greatest friends, hug your mom!

Do all of these things carelessly, do them because you deserve it, and because you can! And at first you may be doing them as a distraction from all that you've been through, but soon enough you'll find that you're doing them not because you need to, but because you want to!

Simply because this really is the new and improved you. Learn from this pain. Learn to love yourself again without him, without constantly feeling like you need to be reminded by him that you are loved. Instead, love yourself and I assure you when other people see that, they'll love you even more.

Girls, when we love someone, we love deeply, we love wholeheartedly, and that person never has to question our love for them. You deserve that same exact love in return. There are plenty of other guys out there just waiting to take care of your heart, and love you unconditionally. You deserve nothing but that!

Do not stop until you find that guy. You can change the world just by being a kind hearted human being. Don't get revenge, don't force yourself to move on as quickly as he did, don't torture yourself with remembering "the old him," and definitely don't change. I know it's hard to see him changing in the worst way, to the point where you don't even recognize him anymore. To the point where he feels like a complete stranger to you.

Do not stoop to his level. Trust me, one day, he will look back on his life and probably regret losing you. Of course, I know all you're wishing is that he'd be able to see that right now, but that just isn't God's plan. Be patient with yourself. Allow yourself the time to grieve, and hurt, and be upset.

Those are all good things.

That is what is going to allow you to heal, and move on to become a better, stronger, happier, and more mature you! I promise you, that a year from now all that you're stressing about will not mean a thing. This is our one and only chance at life, we can not let one person take away all the happiness that we deserve.

The right guy will never leave, even when times get tough he will always fight for you. I saw something on twitter that said, "take sex away and you'll come to realize that not many individuals have much to offer. This generation is so pressed for the physicality that ya'll forget mentality creates the bond and forms longevity."

That hit extremely close to home for me and is something that everyone needs to remember.

Fall in love with somebody's heart, mind, and soul. Go beyond their looks, go beyond the attraction, dig deeper. Don't be that shallow girl, who doesn't know how to love the right way. You are so much better than that. To every single broken hearted girl, I am so proud of you! I am always here for you, you have so much love and support. I've realized that myself. As I write this, I feel relief, no longer sad or dwelling on the past. What is coming is always better than what is gone. Now get that beautiful smile back on your face because you are too pretty to be sad.

P.S. To the "other girl" (if there is one).

How dare you take him away from me? You knew exactly what you were doing. You knew my whole heart was on the line. Women need to start respecting other women. Think before you act. Would you want to be in my position? I sure as hell hope not, and now that you have him I hope you're thinking about how you hurt me. And if you're not, then you have a lot to learn about life hunny.

It's kinda weird because I can't hate either of you. Simply because I want nothing but the best for him. It's crazy how someone can break your heart into a million pieces, but you still have such a special place in your shattered heart for them. Besides that, take good care of him. I hope he can learn from you, and love you in all the ways he couldn't love me or any of his other ex's. Every relationship is a lesson, and there is always something to learn. So thank you for teaching me mine.

P.S- To "the guy who did this" Imagine you have a daughter someday, and some boy breaks her heart the way you did mine. I hope you think back to this, and remember me. Maybe by that time, you'll feel sorry.

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I Learned That I'm Not A Bumble Or Tinder Girl Because I Still Crave Those 'Meet-Cute' Moments

I do not want a texting type of relationship.

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Things about our society today are changing drastically and a big part of that is the improvement of technology and social media.

With the advancements in technology, people are becoming more and more anti-social and it is getting more difficult to meet people worth spending your time with. This has made dating extremely difficult.

I am the type of girl who likes to do things old school, especially when it comes to dating.

In a previous article, I have written: "I Refuse To Meet My Future Husband Online." Which explains why online dating is not for me.

I got to a point in my dating life where I was so fed up with the way I was being treated by the male gender and sick of getting my heart broken by guys with poor intentions, that I decided to go against everything that I believe in and join an online dating app and I decided to use Bumble.

I thought that there had to be at least some good guys out there who will treat me like I deserve to be treated.

Dating is very difficult and takes a lot of time and effort and takes a lot of strength emotionally. I think that is something that everyone can agree on.

It takes hundreds of swipes on these dating apps to find even one person that you think that you could have a connection with. Once you do find someone that you are interested in and you are lucky enough to have a good conversation with them, they usually end up ghosting you within a few days.

All that I have experienced while being on this app is that you will probably get your hopes up.

I am the type of girl who wants to meet my husband in person. I want to have a cute story to tell my children and my grandchildren the crazy cute way that their father and I met. I do not want the answer to be "Oh we met online" YAWN!

I want the type of connection that when you see someone, you are instantly attracted to them and curious to know more about them.

I guess you could stay that the little girl in me is still craving her fairy tale moments.

We get so caught up in what the rest of society is doing and what other people expect of us, that we start to go along with it.

Just because everyone else is downloading dating apps, does not mean that you have to.

Your prince will come at the right time. Do not lose hope and trust that God has a plan for you and will bring you your knight in shining armor at the right time.

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