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Dating Apps

Fellas, These 8 Features On Your Dating Profile Will Make Any Girl Swipe Left

"thank u, next."

Ilana Mekler

Dec 30, 2018

The Narrative

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Ladies, do ever go on a dating app and just immediately start judging the lack of creativity of mens' bios?

Men, if you're looking to meet people, you got to offer a little more than a bland photo and an even more atrocious bio. You're trying to sell yourself, right? If you're stuck in a rut and wondering why things aren't working out for you, here are 8 features you might have in your bio that is deterring you from finding your soulmate:

1. Your picture looks like you took it with a potato

Wikimedia Commons

Seriously, it's either really blurry or very pixelated and just not flattering. Why are your camera angles so bad?! This isn't Myspace!

2. You have a picture with a fish

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It's great that you have this hobby, but it's ALL we see. We get it, you're a provider and are trying to be manly.

3. You don't have anything written in your bio

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If you can't take the time to write something informative about yourself, we're not going to take the time to get to know you. Also, saying "Ask me" or "Add me on Snapchat" doesn't help either.

NEXT.

4. All your pictures are group photos

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We're not going to spend 15 minutes trying to click through and figure out which one is you. That's too much work. If I wanted to play "Guess Who," I would get it from my closet and invite my friends over for game night, oh, and you're not invited.

5. You have an overused quote, most likely from "The Office"

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"The Office" is an amazing (duh) show, but the whole "I'm looking for the Pam to my Jim" is way overused.

6. All your pictures are far away or you have sunglasses on in every photo

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We can't really see your face nor can we see your eyes. Do you have something to hide? WHO ARE YOU?

7. You're not smiling

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Life isn't always that serious, show us what your smile looks like. Or do you not like to smile because you're actually a serial killer?

I mean, men always like to tell us women to smile all the time. I think it's our turn now.

8. You say "you're just trying to meet new people"

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OK, but you're on a dating app, emphasis on dating, so tell me how that makes sense. Why don't you join Bumble BFF?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

Lifestyle

Cool Off with These 8 Beers!

North Carolina State University

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Summer is hot and humid, and it's almost like summer was made specifically to drink the refreshing, cold, crisp wonderful, delicious, nutritious nectar of the gods. Which is none other than beer; wonderful cold beer. With summer playing peek-a-boo around the corner while we finish up this semester, it's time to discuss the only important part of summer. And if you haven't already guessed, it's beer. There are few things I take more seriously than my beer, in order are: sports... and beer. Here are my favorite summer brews:

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Recommended for you

Fellas, These 8 Features On Your Dating Profile Will Make Any Girl Swipe Left

"thank u, next."

1. Your picture looks like you took it with a potato

2. You have a picture with a fish

3. You don't have anything written in your bio

4. All your pictures are group photos

5. You have an overused quote, most likely from "The Office"

6. All your pictures are far away or you have sunglasses on in every photo

7. You're not smiling

8. You say "you're just trying to meet new people"

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Appreciation for some of life's most discredited pleasures.

1. Sun showers

2. Smiles

3. Tight hugs

4. Discovering new foods you like.

5. Laying in bed after a long day.

6. And being completely relaxed

7. "This reminded me of you"

8. Breakfast foods

9. Over-sized clothes

10. Contagious laughs

11. Car rides with that one person

12. Random (I miss you/ I love you) texts

13. The city at night

14. Surprises

15. Blanket cocoons

16. Good hair days

17. Really good coffee

18. Days where you're in a good mood naturally and for no particular reason

19. Conquering a fear

20. When they give you a lot of guac at Chipotle

21. Being so comfortable with someone that you can literally talk about anything

22. Home-cooked meals

23. Tattoo stories

24. Leaves changing color in fall

25. Butterflies in your stomach

26. Peanut butter & jelly sandwiches

27. When you can't stop laughing

Cool Off with These 8 Beers!

Coors Light Summer Brew:

Leinenkugel Summer Shandy

Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat

Want to know more about beer?

Sam Adams Summer Ale

Hell or High Watermelon

Blue Moon Summer Honey

LandShark Lager

Corona

75 degrees and sunny, plus, no humidity. I mean do I really need to say more?

Perfect Weather

You'll get an effortless tan

You can exercise with a view

You don't have to worry about bug bites

In n Out all day, every day

We have outdoor concerts

We live where people vacation

Because let's be honest, we all use lyrics.

1. “Don’t get too close, it’s dark inside. It's where my demons hide.”

2. “Tonight, we are young.”

3. “Cuz I may be bad, but I’m perfectly good at it.”

4. “Tell me how they got that pretty little face on that pretty little frame.”

5. “I can’t wait to fall in love with you, you can’t wait to fall in love with me.”

6. “Sweatpants, hair tied, chillin with no makeup on.”

7. “Why you so obsessed with me?”

8. “We ain’t ever getting older.”

9. “I didn’t know that I was starving until I tasted you.”

10. “Didn’t they tell you I’m a savage?"

11. “I’m gonna make you miss me.”

12. "Cheers to the freakin weekend.”

13. “Love’s a game. Wanna play?”

14. “You don’t know about me, but I bet you want to.”

15. “Let’s set each other’s lonely nights, Be each other’s paradise.”

16. “Trippin’ on skies, sippin’ waterfalls."

17. “Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days.”

18. “But you will remember me for centuries.”

19. “Something about you makes me feel like a dangerous woman."

20. “Don’t act like it’s a bad thing to fall in love with me.”

21. “Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.”

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1. "Talk about a dream
Try to make it real
You wake up in the night
With a fear so real
Spend your life waiting
For a moment that just don't come
Well don't waste your time waiting." (Badlands)