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Dating Apps

Fellas, These 8 Features On Your Dating Profile Will Make Any Girl Swipe Left

"thank u, next."

Ilana Mekler

Dec 30, 2018

The Narrative

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Ladies, do ever go on a dating app and just immediately start judging the lack of creativity of mens' bios?

Men, if you're looking to meet people, you got to offer a little more than a bland photo and an even more atrocious bio. You're trying to sell yourself, right? If you're stuck in a rut and wondering why things aren't working out for you, here are 8 features you might have in your bio that is deterring you from finding your soulmate:

1. Your picture looks like you took it with a potato

Wikimedia Commons

Seriously, it's either really blurry or very pixelated and just not flattering. Why are your camera angles so bad?! This isn't Myspace!

2. You have a picture with a fish

Giphy

It's great that you have this hobby, but it's ALL we see. We get it, you're a provider and are trying to be manly.

3. You don't have anything written in your bio

Giphy

If you can't take the time to write something informative about yourself, we're not going to take the time to get to know you. Also, saying "Ask me" or "Add me on Snapchat" doesn't help either.

NEXT.

4. All your pictures are group photos

Giphy

We're not going to spend 15 minutes trying to click through and figure out which one is you. That's too much work. If I wanted to play "Guess Who," I would get it from my closet and invite my friends over for game night, oh, and you're not invited.

5. You have an overused quote, most likely from "The Office"

Giphy

"The Office" is an amazing (duh) show, but the whole "I'm looking for the Pam to my Jim" is way overused.

6. All your pictures are far away or you have sunglasses on in every photo

Giphy

We can't really see your face nor can we see your eyes. Do you have something to hide? WHO ARE YOU?

7. You're not smiling

Giphy

Life isn't always that serious, show us what your smile looks like. Or do you not like to smile because you're actually a serial killer?

I mean, men always like to tell us women to smile all the time. I think it's our turn now.

8. You say "you're just trying to meet new people"

Giphy

OK, but you're on a dating app, emphasis on dating, so tell me how that makes sense. Why don't you join Bumble BFF?

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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Fellas, These 8 Features On Your Dating Profile Will Make Any Girl Swipe Left

"thank u, next."

1. Your picture looks like you took it with a potato

2. You have a picture with a fish

3. You don't have anything written in your bio

4. All your pictures are group photos

5. You have an overused quote, most likely from "The Office"

6. All your pictures are far away or you have sunglasses on in every photo

7. You're not smiling

8. You say "you're just trying to meet new people"

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Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Ingredients

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Ingredients

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Doing the friendly wave to every boat you pass.

The cooler is always packed, mostly with beer.

Giving the idiot who goes 30 in a "No Wake Zone" a piece of your mind.

You have no problem with peeing in the water.

You know the frustration of getting your anchor stuck.

Watching in awe at the bigger, better boats that pass by.

Knowing any swimsuit that you own with white in it is best left for the pool or the ocean.

The momentary fear for your life as you get launched from the tube.

You're able to go to the restaurants by the water wearing minimal clothing.

Having unexpected problems with your boat.

Having a name for your boat unique to you and your life.

There's no better place you'd rather be in the summer.

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

1. My school is incredibly unique.

2. I am not just a number at my school.

3. I feel like I am contributing something to the community.

5. My professors know me and I feel that I can easily communicate with them.

6. The incredible people I've met

7. Opportunities

8. Students want to learn

9. Ability to join a sorority and have a house full of people I know I can talk to anytime I need to

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