Why Online Dating Will Never Be As Good As The Old-Fashion Type

Online 'Dating' In Our Generation Is A Complete Joke, And We All Know Why

Why don't we all give up already?

335
views

"You look like fun to kiss." He said. I took this in a lighthearted manner, picturing the two of us smooching in a car. The act itself never seemed all that dirty to me. Making out in itself seemed like a good time, something fun and something that friends, strangers at parties, boyfriends, girlfriends, and everywhere in between really often do. Grappling with my sexuality has never really been an easy thing and proved to be that much harder when bombarded with teenage and early twenty college-aged douche bags who just want a quick hook up and decided to go online in order to do so. No one was serious, everyone wanted a plug, a drinking buddy, or a quick bang.

I was even ready to delve into the world of sexuality a little bit, but my boundaries are so very strong and something that I often feel a vast majority of people: especially people on a dating app only looking to hook up are capable of respect. I'll make out with you, I don't mind the feel of lips on mine or a tongue on mine, but don't grab my ass don't go near my chest... just don't.

"Wow... gotta blast."

"You seem like fun."

"What's the point of that?"

"But that's the fun part."

These were all things that were said to me time and time again when I laid out my boundaries. It seems simple and whenever discussing it rarely does anyone around me ever deny that boundaries need to be respected, but the reality of the situation is people are quick to leave you when you don't give them or comply with what they want.

I used to think rather fondly of dating apps. I went on two fantastic one from a tinder match that I connected quite well with, but the longer I spend on it the more I lose my faith in a world that can respect each other without seeing one another for our bodies, for the mystery of what lies beneath our clothes, and the obsession with pleasure and quick satisfaction.

I wish I could just kiss someone, make out, perhaps I wish I could do that without wondering if anything would come after or if any strings would be attached. I wish it could be different and that we could view the world in a bit of a different way, but I also realize change like this isn't gonna happen on apps that people often use for their own sleaze.

In no way do I want to come off bitter, jaded, or as though I have a lack of trust, but it is difficult for me especially watching certain places I used to hold value to be taken completely over by others. Bumble is a good example of an app that I think had such wonderful potential and such a wonderful basis. The entire idea is that women message the men first, giving them the opportunity to choose who they specifically want as well as hopefully cut back slightly on the creepy first messages and awkward one-liners that guys so often send as openers to conversations. However, the concept of feminism was quickly taken down by the horny bastards using the entire app as nothing more than the opportunity to bust a nut and get quick hookups.

I won't say my experience with online dating has been all bad, as a matter of fact, I have had two very successful dates all from the world-renowned dating app, Tinder, and if we really want to spill the tea on my dating details I even had my very first kiss from a guy I met on Tinder (I know I had in late in life cut me a break.) The fact is, for every good egg you find there's a thousand bad and although that's true of everything it seems to be absolutely painfully true when it comes to trying to find your beau online. So to those trying it: best of luck. And to those like me: maybe it's time for a break... a permanent one.

Popular Right Now

I'd Rather Be Single Than Settle: Here Is Why Being Picky Is Okay.

They're on their best behavior when you're dating.
1411
views

Dating nowadays described in one word: annoying. What's even more annoying? when people tell you that you're being too "picky" when it comes to dating. Yes, from an outside perspective sometimes that's exactly what it looks like; however, when looking at it from my perspective it all makes sense. I've heard it all, "He was cute, why didn't you like him?" "You didn't even give him a chance!" "You pay too much attention to the little things!"

What people don't understand is that it's OKAY to be picky when it comes to guys. For some reason, girls in college freak out and think they're supposed to have a boyfriend by now, be engaged by the time they graduate, etc. It's all a little ridiculous; however, I refuse to put myself on a time table such as this due to the fact that these girls who feel this way are left with no choice but to overlook the things in guys that they shouldn't be overlooking, they're settling and this is something that I refuse to do.

So this leaves the big question: What am I waiting for?

Well, I'm waiting for a guy who...

1. Wants to know my friends.

Blessed doesn't even begin to describe how lucky I am to have the friends that I do. I want a guy who can hang out with my friends. If a guy makes an effort to impress your friends then that says a lot about him and how he feels about you. This not only shows that he cares about you but he cares about the people in your life as well. Someone should be happy to see you happy and your friends contribute to that happiness, therefore, they should be nothing more than supportive and caring towards you and your friendships.

2. Actually, cares to get to know me.

Although this is a very broad statement, this is the most important one. A guy should want to know all about you. He should want to know your favorite movie, favorite ice cream flavor, favorite Netflix series, etc. Often, (the guys I get stuck on dates with) love to talk about themselves: they would rather tell you about what workout they did yesterday, what their job is, and what they like to do rather than get to know you.

This is something easy to spot on the first date, so although they may be "cute," you should probably drop them if you leave your date and can recite everything about their life since the day they were born, yet they didn't catch what your last name was.

3. How they talk about other women.

THIS IS CRUCIAL FOR FINDING A NICE GUY. It does not matter who they're talking about, if they call their ex-girlfriend crazy we all know she probably isn't and if she is it's probably their fault. If they talk bad about their mom, let's be honest, if they're disrespecting their mother they're not going to respect you either. If they mention girl's physical appearances when describing them. For example, "yeah, I think our waitress is that blonde chick with the big boobs." Well if that doesn't hint they're a complete f* boy then I don't know what else to tell you. And most importantly calling other women "bitches" that's just disrespectful.

Needless to say, if his conversations are similar to ones you'd hear in a frat house, ditch him.

4. Phone etiquette.

If he can't put his phone down long enough to take you to dinner then he doesn't deserve for you to be sitting across from him. If a guy is serious about you he's going to give you his undivided attention and he's going to do whatever it takes to impress you and checking snapchat on a date is not impressive. Also, notice if his phone is facedown, then there's most likely a reason for it. He doesn't trust who or what could pop up on there and he clearly doesn't want you seeing. Although I'm not particularly interested in what's popping up on their phones, putting them face down says more about the guy than you think it does.

To reiterate, it's okay to be picky ladies, you're young, there's no rush. Remember these tips next time you're on a date or seeing someone, and keep in mind: they're on their best behavior when you're dating. Then ask yourself, what will they be like when they're comfortable? Years down the road? Is this what I really want? If you ask yourself these questions you might be down the same road I have stumbled upon, being too picky.. and that's better than settling. :)

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

Leave Your Ex Alone

They don't want to bother with you, so stop bothering them.

108
views

It's okay to be friends with your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend, but you can never be friends immediately after the break-up or else the friendship will fail. To be someone's friend you must be able to support them and love them. Relationships almost never end on good terms, so how can you be truly supportive to the person that broke you? You can't.

You both need time to heal and love yourselves again without the emotional support that you both have been leaning on for so long."You can't fix yourself while holding on to the person that broke you." -r.h.sin. Remember that.

Also, please for the sake of all your friends, followers, and your self-dignity, keep your relationship off social media. I'm not saying don't post want you to want to post, but when your profile has turned into a hate blog for your ex, I think it's time quit. Not only does constantly posting negative things about your ex make you look bad, but it also makes the healing process go even slower and possibly ruin the chances of friendship again.

And if you truly believe that sending a text that is close to the length of 400 words to your ex explaining once again that you are completely over them will make them change their minds then go off, but know it most likely won't work. Then didn't care the first time, they won't care the seventh time.

So basically, be respectful and be kind to your ex. No matter how messed upshot they did was and no matter how badly that hurt you, realize that treating them terrible back solves nothing and only reflects badly on you. You can't change how people treat you, but you can choose how to react.

Related Content

Facebook Comments