Fear. It’s the ultimate reason we sometimes fail to step out of our comfort zones or take chances. It can motivate us, or debilitate us. Sometimes, fear is completely necessary as a fight or flight response. If you’re at the beach and have drifted to sea, your fear starts to kick in when you feel your head bobbing in the water and realize you’re lost. We need fear, but as more of stepping stone to encourage us, and less of a mountain we believe we can’t climb. Fear is always with you. Use it.
I adopted this philosophy recently, and it has broadened my perspective on what the world allows you to do, and what you allow yourself to accomplish. For example, I’m afraid of heights. I close my eyes on the way up a roller coaster, the top of a mountain makes my stomach churn, and don’t even get me started on bridges above water. I have used this fear in hiking, facing beautiful overlooks, and seeing the world from a place I was too afraid to go. I used to feel like this bubble of fear surrounded my life, I was even too anxious to order my own coffee. Step after step, I started breaking the bubble and anyone can do the same.
Make a list. The best way to start facing your fears or getting out of your comfort zone is to list what you’re afraid of, or what you want to do. If you find it difficult to be outspoken, pick a day and say what you mean. Tell someone what you’re thinking, instead of holding back. It might seem scary at first, but before you know it, a conversation is over and you’ve done your thing for the day. If you love singing but are terrified of people hearing you, maybe you can work your way up to a karaoke night or give the family a show. Try a new restaurant. Climb a mountain. Tell that person you like them. Try a new machine at the gym. Don’t worry, they aren’t looking at you. Go on a late-night adventure. Think of what scares you, and do it. It will be worth it.
Now, I’m not telling you to jump off a cliff or surround yourself with snakes, unless you aspire to be in Fear Factor or really like adrenaline rushes. Small things matter too. In fact, they make all the difference. You can challenge yourself once a day with a small fear for an entire year. At the end of those 365 days, those small fears turn into big accomplishments. Before you even realize it, you’re not that scared anymore. Facing your fears or even overcoming anxiety or an uncomfortable situation, it gives you courage. It keeps you pushing because you never run out of fear, and it gives you hope that you can do anything.
I wish I could tell you how to conquer your fears in the blink of an eye, but I cannot. That is ultimately a personal decision. Fears, in general, are subjected to an individual so if I attempted to create a way to overcome fear, it would not work for everyone. I can only encourage you to start where you are most comfortable and climb that mountain, however tall it may be. Make a list and map out what you need to do, or find something in the middle of your day to say “I do one thing a day that scares me, this is my one. I can do this.” As one of my personal favorite movie quotes states, “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.” It’s from "The Cinderella Story," but those are some wise words.
A life without fear is a life without courage.
