While my brother was declared brain dead on November 18, I consider November 19 to be the specific date for his "anniversary" or whatever you'd like to call it. I consider it this because this was the day my family and I left him and the hospital and did not see him again.

It's weird. I mean, it's been a month since I've seen him; over a month since I've had a conversation with him; over a month since I hugged him. We had already seen each other less since I had moved to school, but we still talked almost every other day. Whenever I want to talk to him, I message him on his Facebook account that we kept up. I've gone to text him funny videos that we would normally send each other until I remembered that he wouldn't see it.

This past month has been an interesting month filled with Thanksgiving, finals, and coming home from the semester. I like to think I have been handling it somewhat okay. I mean, okay enough for someone who just lost her best friend. I ended with a 3.8 for my semester's GPA. I've still been able to hang out with friends. That doesn't mean I haven't not been okay, though. I hate being alone because most of the time I just think about Andrew. I came home for winter break and I really hate being home. When people ask me how I'm doing, or what actually happened and how he died, I get all teary-eyed and upset. It's rough.

I miss him a lot. It's weird that it's already been a month without him. I never thought this would happen, you know? Obviously no one expects anything like this, but still. As time goes on, it will continue to get better, and that's all I'm really riding on. That and the fact that I know he's always hanging around me.

I miss you, man.