Back when I was single, I was really hesitant to make a dating app profile. I tried to think of various reasons as to why I shouldn’t give it a try; the only reason that made me somewhat antsy was the fact that people judge frequently when you tell them you met your new boyfriend on a dating app.
It was more than two years ago, and when I tell you I have no regrets about the situation -- whether that be how we met or how we ended -- I mean it. At one point, he was the man I thought I would spend the rest of my life with. I don’t consider myself naive when reminiscing on our memories because, at one point, he was exactly what I wanted in my life.
In case you’re wondering, it was Tinder. Yes, I know it’s called a hookup app, but not all people use it for that sole purpose. I wanted to meet some new people and escape the small bubble of my hometown. I knew it would be a change for me, but honestly, with a little bit of time and attention from the right people, I really had fun with it.
I don’t know about you, but it’s hard to meet people sometimes when you live in the middle of nowhere. I don’t get why it’s frowned upon when you get a little shove in the right direction.
That’s really what this app was for me. It was a matter of not knowing how to meet guys I might be interested in, so I decided to put it in the app’s hands, and in return, I actually met pretty amazing people and enjoyed one hell of a relationship in the process.
“Whatever happened to going out and meeting people face to face... like at school, work, or at a bar?”
Well, since I attend school online, it's not as easy to meet people as you might think. And I work with designers, many of which are gay (no hate because they’re awesome) so I think I’d strike out several times there. And a bar? Really? I mean, occasionally I can understand, by why isn't meeting someone at a bar and on an app like Tinder considered equal?
I’ll be honest -- I’m not overly social. Sometimes it takes more courage than I have in me to go up and start a conversation with a guy I find attractive. Regardless of if it’s frowned upon or not, it’s easier to hide behind the screen for a while until you can gather up the courage to try seeing them face to face.
Why is it so bad? Looks are what initially attract you, but I had plenty of matches on Tinder where the conversation went nowhere because we felt like we had nothing in common. Instead of having to figure that out in person, which would be awkward as ever, we were fortunate enough to get the chance to talk a little before deciding if we want to jump right into a date.
To be honest, I talked to many of my matches for weeks before going on a date with them. It was nothing personal, but I felt like if I could hold their attention for that long, then maybe they were genuinely interested in getting to know me versus getting into bed with me. Yes, not every person on Tinder wanted a relationship, but not every person wanted to hookup either, and I think that's partially where the confusion existed.
App. Dating. Isn’t. Bad.
And though I’m not for it, meeting someone at a bar isn’t bad either. Everyone has a different way of going about meeting people, but because of my anxiety, I choose to do it over the phone app first.
I guess you’re probably wondering what happened to my Tinder man. Well, in the end, there were too many obstacles for us to maneuver. We couldn’t make it work, but we’re still friends, and that’s partly what I wanted out of the app.
For the other part, I have a pretty special man in my life to cover that. And guess what? I didn’t even meet him though an app. But even if I did, it would be nothing to be ashamed of.
