The M train, which I normally get at 14th Street and 6th Avenue, has always been one of my favorite trains in the New York City subway system. The M line, once you’re out of Manhattan and heading to Brooklyn, is an above-ground train. It curves throughout Williamsburg and Bedford-Stuyvesant, ending in Bushwick before reaching its last stop in Queens. My mother grew up in Bushwick, long before rapid gentrification took hold of the neighborhood. In my earliest years, I spent most of my time between Knickerbocker Avenue and Irving Avenue, in the house my grandparents still called home. When I take the M train, I like to stand near the doors and watch buildings pass by, recognizing the familiar graffiti, an art gallery for my own viewing pleasure.
As I prepare to leave New York, I’ve packed away some things that will remind me of home while I’m in Massachusetts. A few postcards from my favorite bookstore (The Strand, if you’re wondering) and some my mother picked up at a tourist trap near Times Square as she took the 7 train home showing scenes from the city. I splurged a bit and bought an old fashioned subway map poster from The New York Public Library. My father is a bus driver for the MTA and I’ve asked him to bring me a bus map of Queens, my home borough and the most underrated one at that.
I’ve talked to other college first-years from the city who are leaving, as well. A frequent stressor is the idea of having to get around without relying on a vast public transportation system. The idea of having to walk or drive everywhere is completely alien to me. While Northampton, Massachusetts certainly won’t be as difficult of an adjustment as another town might have proven to be, I still worry about other things.
It may seem trivial, but the prospect of having to live without a lox and cream cheese bagel and coffee (two sugars, extra cream please) from my local bagel shop every Sunday morning is distressing. Do they even have good bagels in Massachusetts? I’ve seriously considered bringing a few of my own to get by my first weeks at college. And what about pizza? My local pizzeria makes the best slices around and the idea of not having them right there is worrisome. I’ll miss my bodega, too. I’ve gone out to pick up milk at a quarter to nine at night in pajamas for my mother many times.
Bagels, pizza and bodegas are sure to be missed, but the idea of the city is what I’ll miss most. I have never felt more at peace than when I am alone in a sea of strangers. In New York, you can be alone in congested subway car, but the car doors always open at the next stop, inviting you to the city’s community. I’ll miss getting reading done on my commute, getting a cold can of Diet Coke at a street vendor’s cart and all the other little nuances to life in New York.
Of course I’ll miss my friends, too. When I think of what I’ll miss most, the evenings spent on park benches and in coffee shops, huddled around outlets charging our phones so our mothers won’t wonder where we are, and the scent of air conditioning in a subway car on a hot summer day come to mind. The warm and cola fizzy feeling of time spent amongst friends sticks to my ribs, like my favorite meal. I’ve tried to bottle that feeling and hope to keep it with me throughout college. I can come back to New York over breaks, of course. It won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. But for now, as I make the move to Western Massachusetts, I’ll just have to keep it all in my mind, remembering that while I’m at school I can always recall the M train, the soothing clank and bustle of the train taking me back home for a brief moment.
