It’s never really bothered me much to be the single friend out of my group of friends.
However, it’s not always an easy being the single one. Sometimes, seeing your bestfriends constantly pulling the guys/gals – and keeping them – it makes you wonder…. What’s up with me?
If you’re the single friend – like me – you know what it feels like to third wheel, or fifth wheel, or be invited to an outing last minute because the two couples didn’t want their other friend to be the fifth wheel (so then you end up being the fifth wheel to two sets of couples and three best friends.)
Or… did that just happen to me?
How about feeling neglected because all they do is spend time with their significant others more than they do with you? Or having their significant others come up in every other topic of conversation?
Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for and support my friends and their relationships.
However, since high school, I’ve always been the single one. (Except for that one time junior year… but to be honest, it begs the question of who played the side to whom *side-eye*)
I am now in college, I’ve got the solitude and self-love thing down, but it’s still the same. At some point I thought, “whelp, I MUST be some kind of a natural men-repellent being.”
But that’s not the case.
I’ve definitely learned a few valuable lessons from my years of single-friending. So if you’re going through what I am going through right now, here are a few things to keep in mind.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. You are unquestionably and irrevocably beautiful, intelligent, and worthy of love, respect, and loyalty. The absence (or presence) of a man or woman in your life does not determine your worth.
Your time is coming. Everyone is at the place and time in their lives where they need to be. Rushing the process will only spoil it. I know people tell you this all the time, but coming from another single friend, trust that the person that you are meant for, will find you and make you happy one day. You have to be patient and trust that time will come.
Unless you are comfortable with third wheeling (I don’t know why…) DO NOT willingly put yourself in that predicament. If you’re like me, you trust that your friends won’t make it awkward when you go out with them and their significant others… but let’s be honest, sometimes they just DO (even when they don’t “mean to.”) So whenever you see it coming, ABORT.
Do not get sucked into being the third, fifth, or seventh wheel, not if you can help it. (Or just go for all the glorious distractions your phone can provide.)
Contrary to popular beliefs, your friends won’t forget about you… They just have someone more important to remember. Kidding. Unless you have awful friends who gain satisfaction and validation from romantic relationships, I don’t know what to tell you. If that’s not the case, your friends will never abandon you, no matter who comes into their lives.
Start the habit of talking to your friends whenever you feel like you guys are not spending enough time together, and sometimes, they will genuinely understand and make the time to spend with you.
Please take #ForeverAlone out of your bio, okay? Thanks.
You will make a whole lot of new friends. With most of your friends getting into these new and exciting relationships comes an entirely new group of friends, ones that are single, just like you. That comes with learning new things: new music, movies, books, and new places to eat out.
Don’t believe the stereotype that you, the “single friend,” is somehow less secure because the majority of your friends are in relationships. It’s not true. To be very honest, your happiness for your friends and the times spent together is separate from you being single. And not to mention the awesome advice and pep talks you’ll get when you’re feeling sad about being single. (It’s double now with TWO people on your side.)
Enjoy being single. Really. Just like everything else in life, being single is what you make it. Being the single friend doesn’t have to be as bad as everyone makes it seem. Remember that being alone, is not synonymous to being lonely. You will definitely learn to have an awesome time with "YOU". So go out and have fun.
And besides, the most important thing is… not having to share your food with anyone.
