I wasn’t going to write about you. I think enough time has passed now to where it’s okay to share this with you. Maybe you'll see it and read it, maybe you won't.
Looking back at what we used to be and the memories we shared doesn’t make me bitter anymore, though. I was lucky to have had someone like you take part in my life.
As I’m sitting here writing this, I am smiling. Believe it. I’m honestly grateful to have met you, to have had you be a part of my life for a little over 4 years. I knew every part of you, the deepest darkest parts. You shared those with me and I thank you for all of it.
With all the good also came the bad. Like every relationship. We just couldn’t move past it. I do wish things didn’t end the way they did but I am a firm believer of the saying “everything happens for a reason.” We were meant to find each other. Because if I hadn’t met you or screwed up, made you happy, cry, laugh, hurt, angry... Neither of us would be where we’re at today. I wouldn’t know my worth and what I deserve. Same goes for you.
I can proudly say that now after everything that has happened, I am the happiest I’ve been in 4 years. It’s like I finally realized that I just had to let you go and stop worrying about your feelings and feel for myself. To let you go was much easier when I thought I found someone else to help me move on. But even if I hadn't met him, I wouldn’t need you. I don’t need you. I never did. I don't need anyone, I just needed me.
We didn’t have to go through all of the hurt to get to where we’re at now. None of the bullshit had to happen. This could’ve been so much easier. It was already broken. You can’t force people to love you, I’ve learned that. But I did love you. I will always love who you are and always will care for you. I’m not ashamed of you and I never will be. You are my past now, a lesson learned. Something that I will look back on and smile. Because you have taught me so much. Because of you I can actually love and do it right this time. To another man that deserves me and I hope you do the same.
Ending this I basically just want to say "thank you." You have taught me what exactly to look for in a man. You ARE an incredible man, just not to me, just not for me. I see you moving forward in life and I hope you continue to be happy. That’s all I want for you.
I will miss you old friend. Xoxo
