I have always been one to spend hours on end rummaging through old picture albums and boxes of photographs, hoping to find the nostalgic feeling each photo is meant to bring and the memories that come along with it. I love the way a picture can bring back memories that, without that 2-dimensional reminder, I would have most likely forgotten. Sometimes I even wish that I could go back to the time in the photo.
This past weekend, my friends and I came to this topic of conversation whilst taking pictures before a night out. In twenty years, these dorm room pre-night out pictures will bring back a flood of memories of the good times and adventures of what is now. This prompted my three hour-long video chat session with my younger sister where she flipped through old photo albums showing me pictures from our childhood, while I searched the hard drive of my laptop for the oldest picture uploads I could find. While delving into many years of memories, I came across one memory in particular. One photograph uprooted a different feeling inside of me that the other photographs did not.
The person in the photograph was a carefree six-year-old girl. She was graced with an innocence that she could not get rid of if she tried. Her smile was just a smile, plain and joyful. It isn’t a cloaked disguise, covering sadness or pain. She is simply happy. The person in this photograph is nothing compared to the twenty-year-old that she has become. Her naïve innocence has drifted away. Her smile is no longer just always a smile, but sometimes a blatant lie. It is no longer just simple and joyful, but one that has learned to hide the pains and sadnesses of life. That little girl in the picture is me, the old me.
The photograph is a reflection of what I once was. I’m not an entirely different person, just one with much more understanding and knowledge. The eyes in the picture have yet to be fitted for contacts or glasses. The smile in the picture has yet to grow in all its adult teeth. These are the small things about our future that we have no idea about yet, yet they make up who we are today. In the photograph, I was so oblivious of my future. As I sat next to my sister, my one and only sibling, I was completely ignorant to the fact that in 7 years I would have a baby brother. I would not have even entertained it as a possibility.
There is a lot that the old me wouldn’t have guessed. The old me would have thought that a baby brother was an unfathomable thought. The old me would have never guessed that my beloved grandpa would have passed away before my wedding day, graduation from college, or before I even turned 17.
However, we never know what the next day will bring. The person in the photograph will always be naïve. As Robert Frost once said, “In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” The "old" me knows as much about the future as the "new" me knows what is next. We look back and think abouthow inexperienced and how unaware we were, yet we stand here today just as inexperienced and unaware. We have no idea what the future will bring but until then, we should continue to look back at old photos and continue to reminisce on old memories.
I wish the girl in the picture had spent more time with her grandpa even though she could have never guessed that he would be taken from her life so soon. Looking back, you begin to regret all of those times you didn’t say "I love you" or all of those times you didn’t kiss or hug that person hello or goodbye.
If I were to take a snapshot of my sister and myself this year, I would hope that in another 10 or so years from now, I could look back and see that there is still some joy and innocence reflected in the images. I hope that as I grow and move on into the future, that I’ll guide my life down a road of happiness and positivity. I hope that the photos I take now will spark memories of experiences and ignite stories that I will hopefully be able to share with my children and grandchildren one day.
From recently looking at all of these snapshots from the past, I learned something: it is important to appreciate each snapshot of life as you move on to take even more.
