I see this quote everywhere: “People aren’t even dating anymore, just talking, catching feelings, sleeping together, and ending up in relationships.”- Anonymous
Girls, mostly are the ones saying things like this. Girls, let’s think about it. This whole relationship thing is mutual--believe it or not. How you act and present yourself is just as important as how he acts and presents yourself. It’s a two way street. If you want an old fashioned relationship you need to project that. But before I delve more into that let’s go over what old fashioned dating was like:
- People still had sex before marriage. True, they didn’t talk about it, but it happened.
- Yes, guys came to the door to get the girl instead of texting them from their car.
- People dressed up. Long skirts, no cleavage, guys wore button ups with dress pants and sometimes a tie with dress shoes.
- Guys brought flowers to some dates.
- Oh, there weren’t cell phones.
- Dancing was classy, not trashy. No grinding.
- The guy pursues the girl.
I hope one didn’t shock you too much. It’s fine if you still want to wait until marriage. It doesn’t mean you’re weird, and if people judge you they probably shouldn’t be in your life. Girls, don’t let a guy pressure you. Guys, don’t let a girl pressure you. I walked away from a guy who was attractive and nice because he wanted sex. Always stick with what you want to do.
As far as dressing up, dress up! Nobody is saying you can’t dress up. Decide with your date that you both will dress up.
If you want your guy to come to the door, ask him. Same goes for ladies. If you are picking up a guy go to his door.
Let’s talk flowers. Flowers die. They tend to be overpriced. If you get flowers, great, if not don’t worry. You are more important than cut flowers that last a week and then wilt, and your date knows that. I had a date where the guy brought flowers and I was happily surprised. It was wonderful but I don’t expect it.
Don’t forget to bring your phone but put it on silent or vibrate and keep it in your purse or pocket. If you are expecting a call or text from someone let your date know beforehand. Pay attention to the person who is sitting across from you. They deserve 100% of your attention.
Dance how you want to dance. There are plenty of places to dance where you can be classy and not trashy. Search for some places online in a city or town near you. You can even learn ballroom dancing by getting coupons online.
I understand that girls want guys to ask the girl out. I also understand guys want girls to ask them out. I have a substantial number of guy friends who say how stressed they are to ask a girl out and many times they don’t end up asking the girl out. Girls, if you like a guy, tell him. It’s 2016, you may like old fashioned dating but you could miss an opportunity if you don’t speak up. I always tell a guy when I like him. If he doesn’t feel the same way I’m bummed but then I move on. Telling someone how to feel can give you permission to move on or permission to move on with that person. Get your feelings out there. Don’t wait.
Dating is a two way street. You do you and someone will come and respect your values and ideals.
