Hey Ohio, If It Could Feel Like Fall That'd Be Great

Dear Ohio,

I know you have the reputation of being inconsistent with your weather. I mean, a phrase I hear every day is "if you don't like the weather here, just wait a day/a few hours and I'm sure it will be different." And the past few months have definitely been inconsistent; I spent half the summer freezing and then once the semester started it finally felt like what we were waiting all summer for. But the fact that it's been over a month since Labor Day and the heat index today at it's high today is 96 degrees Fahrenheit - it's ridiculous.

It's October for freaking sake, give me something that even remotely feels like autumn. Heck, if I could have a day where the high was only 75 degrees, I'd be pretty freaking grateful. Every day I wake up in sweatpants, freezing in my blissfully air-conditioned dorm room, and have to check the weather because otherwise I'd go out wearing leggings and be reduced to a puddle of sweat not even five minutes after stepping outside.

I appreciate the fact that you did decide to give us some weather that in fact feels like summer, but how am I supposed to enjoy it when I have 17 credit hours of classes keeping me stuck in a library, watching the sun shining from behind a mountain of homework and other commitments? I wish it had felt like this all summer when I was working outside and would have enjoyed getting tan and having busy days at the pool when everyone could relax and not be procrastinating on homework, papers, and exams as they sit around in hammocks. Seriously, why the heck did you decide to have summer show up now? I was sick for almost a week and a half and had to watch all of my friends go out and enjoy the weather while my immune system had decided it was late enough in the year that it was time for me to be incapacitated and reliant on cold medicine on a schedule to get through the day.

Also, how am I supposed to enjoy fall activities if I'm soaked in sweat? It's October, the wonderful time of spooky season, apple-picking, and flannel-wearing. I can't enjoy wearing jeans and sweaters if I'm going to die of heatstroke within half an hour of looking very cute (and being very comfortable). I want to carve pumpkins and sit around a bonfire with my friends drinking hot cider. How do you expect me to do this when it only gets down to 80 freaking degrees at night? If you could simmer down and start acting like fall, we'd all appreciate it.

Sincerely,

A fall-loving Ohioan