Now, that I'm on summer break I have more time to do the things I want such as read books, cuddle my dog, journal, watch Netflix, eat delicious food, think about eating delicious food and stare at myself in the mirror. Just in case you're skimming this let me say that last one again. Stare at myself in the mirror.

If you added up the amount of time I spend examining myself in passing window reflections, selfie cams, and mirrors it would probably total to approximately one hour a day.

Let's start with the morning when I wake up and frantically check my iPhone right away to see how the world has progressed in those eight hours I was asleep. I go through the usual apps such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat -- and that's where I get the first glimpse of reflection. That unfortunate moment when you open your snapchat to check the stories and the selfie cam pops up. You get a lovely image of your morning face. Nothing like half closed eyes, super dry lips, and chipmunk looking cheeks making your head look about the size of an XL bowling ball to give you that morning boast of self esteem.

Once you maneuver your way out of bed you park yourself in front of the mirror. You can now begin your morning assessment with your body. For me that normally consists of putting my hand over my stomach and relishing in the feeling of it being at it's peak of flatness (since it's the morning and I haven't eaten for a while). Then I'll squeeze certain areas of my thighs or stomach into place, trying to shape it into the body I want. I'll lean over grab my stomach fat and condense it into one ball that I fantasize cutting off, thinking subconsciously, I would be better, more worthy if this was gone.

Once I have started my day, and am outside walking towards wherever I need to go, I almost always pass at least one (normally, too many) store window displays, that showcase your reflection. As my full body comes into sight I try to asses it with a critical eye how I look. Mostly, with the thought of, Do I look thin right now?

The lowest point is normally after dinner or dessert when your stomach is bloated with delicious food. You pass yourself in the mirror and avoid looking out of fear that the reflection will not show what you want to see.

I only share my intimate mirror experiences with you, not because I think their super interesting or enjoyable to hear, but to prove that this generation's obsession with physical appearances is not simply egotistical. It is quite the opposite. Those who spend the most time in front of the mirror are the ones who have the deepest insecurities. They fear they are too unworthy to give themselves the freedom to not constantly checkup on their appearance because that is all they have.

Mirror lovers fear the world's harsh dog eat dog mantra. They use the mirror as our tool to try and take control of a pretty random/irrational life. Due to the media's representation of only a certain body types, many of us have come to falsely believe that our physical appearance can be our personal shield from rejection, responsibility, and our ticket to happiness.

So next time you witness someone struggling to take the "perfect selfie," or gazing at themselves in the mirror do not immediately rule them off as shallow minded. There are an infinite number of advertisements, experiences, Instagram accounts, comments, and reasons why they have turned to exterior beauty to determine their worth.