I have never really had anyone to look up to when it came to love, and maybe that's why I'm so obsessed with it. The word divorce is a common word used in my family's vocabulary. The type of love I looked up to was in Disney princess movies. Girl falls in love, the guy ends up saving her and they live happily ever after. I am a princess by society's standards, though I consider myself as one. I don't need saving but I would sure love to live happily ever after.
There are so many different forms of love and different types of soulmates. I want and will always crave a romantical love. The type of love where you hear that person's name and it just brings a smile to your face. The type of love where you're with them it feels like home. The type of love where being with that person takes away every type of worry you've ever had. I am well aware that love will not solve every problem but at least I will have someone to conquer the problems with.
A forever type of love seems so magical. Being with someone forever is rare. Maybe I watch too many rom-coms or have seen way too many Nicholas Sparks movies but that's the type of love I want. I'm not talking about screaming in the rain because personally, I don't like to get my hair wet, but you get the idea.
I have a complete understanding that I'm not just going to get this love overnight and that I might meet 90 different guys before I find the one. I also understand that there is a chance that I will never find the one but oh goodness I really hope I do. To have that type of commit to someone and for them to have it for you.
Everyone always wants what they can't have so there is a part of me that is terrified that I want that love so badly because what if I only want it because I'll never get it. It also terrifies me that it's something I have no control over. I have no way of forcing someone to love me and vice versa. You kinda just have to hope that you find the one and you're so lucky if you do.
I'm not obsessed with the twitter posting relationships are the couple accounts on Instagram. I'm obsessed with the relationships where you can genuinely tell they are meant for each other. I can't tell you exactly why I'm so obsessed with the idea of love. It could be because I grew up never seeing it, or because I watched too many movies, or it could simply be that I am a hopeless romantic. I'm sure there is some deep dark inner reason why I'm infatuated but I have no desire to figure out that reason. I'd much rather live with my head in the clouds and my heart leading the way.
