Picture this:
Sunrise colors surrounding sleeping buildings.
Numbers glowing on a dashboard digital clock.
A row of identical black minivans in the parking lot.
Forget pink, Wednesdays at 6am are for Mom Bootcamp. As are Mondays and Fridays during the months of June, July, and August. Don’t let the lovingly-dubbed nickname fool you. Mom Bootcamp is hard, for more reasons than just the disgusting start time.
It’s a sacred time to exercise your body and your social skills. After spending three days every week this summer tricking myself into exercising before my mind could wake up, I can attest that moms are legit.
They voluntarily wake up to exercise before normal people even reach REM cycle.
They can carry on a conversation while running, doing squats, or holding plank.
They have the power to memorize and recite all of their family members’ schedules, in order.
They’re passionate. If you’re not living life passionately, then what’s the point of living at all? Their opinions on youth sports and middle school teachers are nothing short of enthusiastic, in the best possible way.
They ‘re experts on group problem solving. Together they can give you spot-on advice about where you can get the cheapest priced, but best quality manicure in town. It may sound trivial, but people spend months trying to find the answer that moms can collectively solve during 10 minutes of cardio.
They’re somehow always helpful. Who else would be willing to offer advice and reassurance at a time when most local businesses haven’t even opened?
They understand that everyone needs a solid vent-sesh. The best time to talk about the cringe-worthy things kids do every day is right before you’re about to push through some burpees. Strategize for optimal benefits.
Perfecting the art of exercise socialization + having time to still do everyday mom things = BA.
