To the kids that I call my brother and sister --

I’m sorry.

I’m away at college and things are different now that I only see you a few times every few months. It is not ideal, nor is it how I want it to be. Unfortunately, I’m afraid it would have been this way no matter what college I attended. I apologize that I am missing out on your life when you were always there for mine. I remember mom and dad dragging you to my sporting events, whether you enjoyed it or not. You followed in my shadow of achievements, whether you intended to or not.

Finally, you had the pressure put on you to follow in your big sister’s footsteps, whether you asked for that or not. You are both starting to individualize your passions, interests, and hobbies. This is a crucial time in your life and I am not there to help you, watch you grow, and stand by your side when the going gets tough. It kills me inside knowing I am missing out on an essential part of your lives, and for that, I am forever apologetic.

I appreciate you.

Although I sometimes forget to say it, you will never understand the amount of appreciation I have for you. I will always have your back, and I know that no matter what, you will always have mine. You will realize that not everyone can say the same, but the love we share with and for each other will hold us together for eternity.

I never thought that I could appreciate two people more than I appreciate you. From making distant family encounters less awkward to being my motivation, I appreciate every little detail. It took me several years to learn what the true meaning of appreciation was, which is the addition of value to my life. You add value and meaning to my life, and in return, I hope I add the same back.

Believe in yourself.

Forget the belief that firstborns are the natural leaders or that the youngest child is the favorite. You are your own individual and together, we make a family. Without both of your personal individualities, we wouldn’t have the tight-knit family that we do. You each bring unique characteristics to the big mixing pot that you should never let yourself forget about.

Sooner or later, you are going to face some tough times where you question your worth. I’ve been there, and I’ve hit very low points, but I’m glad I was able to experience the pain before you so that I can help you avoid them. Never stop believing in yourself, for you are the only person that is completely in control of your own life.

Follow your heart.

As your older sister, it is my responsibility to shape the path for you, but it is your responsibility to find your limits, transcend them, and find your own path. I will be the first to tell you that I’ve been scared to follow my heart. It has been so easy for me to follow my head and pursue something that someone else wanted me to. While I never wanted to disappoint anyone, whether that be friends or family, I have finally found comfort in pursuing what my heart wants. Never settle for anything less than you want, need, or desire.

As the younger siblings, there is this “pressure” put on you to follow in your older sister’s path by playing the same sports, doing well in school, being involved, etc. While I want you to succeed in everything you do, be your own individual. Find your own passions and build your own dreams. Do everything wholeheartedly and you will succeed, I promise you.

Thank you.

There are no words for how thankful I am for your existence. You push me each and every day to be a better individual whether you realize it or not. Forget that I am older than you, you two are my guides. I have learned so much from you regarding the person I want to be. Without you, I wouldn’t be who I am today, and I can wholeheartedly acknowledge that you have shaped who I am, what I stand for, and who I want to be.

I’ve learned not only how to be a daughter, but how to be a sibling as well. This is truly a blessing in itself. By being your older sister, I’ve learned the value of selflessness and how showing compassion goes further than words ever can. You’ve taught me the responsibility of taking on a leadership figure, which I have come to find is much harder when I have two incredibly talented, intelligent, and thriving younger siblings following in my footsteps. It’s no secret that I do everything I can to the best of my ability to set a good example for you, but your successes at such young ages are not making it any easier for me. Lastly, I want to thank you for our friendships.

As siblings, we are forced into the brother-sister, sister-sister relationships. However, I have never once felt forced into any type of relationship as you both are my very, very best friends. Our age gap will never make a difference, in fact, it brings us closer. You learn from me, I learn from you, and we become closer in that. You two are much, much more than my siblings, you are my best friends. There are no words that will ever come close to defining how thankful I am for you, remember that.

Sincerely --

Your older sister