I am not your victim. I am not a victim of my circumstance. I am not a victim of this disease. I am not a victim, I will not allow you take hold of my being and claim it as yours.
The struggles we all face, the demons we deal with on a daily basis. The human beings that have deceived us, broken us. The circumstance that left us feeling as if we had nothing left. The night at the frat where we had too much to drink and we "allowed" that boy to take something we valued, we treasured. Those hurtful words our parents said. The feeling as if we are alone. The crippling depression. The anxiety of possibility of living through it again; experiencing that hurt again.
However, I am not your victim. I stand up to you. To the person that told me I wouldn't amount to anything. To the disease that is threatening to end my life too soon. To the nagging little voice in the back of my head saying "you're not good enough." I stand up to you. I refuse to let you own me. To take hold of me; consume me. I will fight back. I will succeed.
I am not here to give in, nor to give up. I am here to strive forward, for better, for worse I am here. I will not be victimized; that will not be my story. My story will be one of great hardship and you will be involved, but that is not me. When I tell people my story it will show my strength and my devoted self love. It will tell the tale of my life.
You see, its hard to open up. It's hard to admit self destruction. It's difficult to admit you're hurting, offended, or upset. It's hard to cut that one person that is tearing you apart when they are the only person you have left. It's hard to except a treatment that could potentially save your life or end it faster. As human's accepting defeat does not come naturally, accepting help is not in our everyday vocabulary.
It's easy to give in. It's too easy to just let the world consume you. To get so self absorbed and have so much self pity. It's easy to fall victim to circumstances and just accept that "this is my life."
It doesn't have to be. I truly believe we are in charge of our own destiny. The paths we choose are our choice; no one else. Regardless as long as we are mentally capable, we choose where we "end up." So, I choose not to be victimized; I choose to be me.
