I was born on February 9th 1998. The doctor was not paying attention and while she delivered me, she cut all around my skull and caused me to have a brain bleed. That led me to have Cerebral Palsy, which is a brain injury that prevents the brain from sending and receiving nerve signals from the right side of the body, especially the arms and legs in my case. With CP, a doctor cannot tell how extensive a child’s disability will be until the age of two. This is due to the neuroplasticity of the brain, and its ability to adapt. While waiting to see what I would be able to do, my family prayed. They prayed that I would be able to read. All that mattered to my Mom was the fact I could be able to read. She didn’t care if I was in a wheelchair. All I needed was the ability to read. This was the second miracle in my life. The first was simply living, I had died 7 times in the first hour of life. In 1 Kings 3:11, when Solomon asked only for wisdom, God blessed Him with much more. God has blessed me with not only the gift of reading, but the gifts of walking, talking and thinking.
“Since you asked for this and not for a long life or wealth for yourself… I will do what you have asked.”
1 Kings 3:11-12
When I was two, after my brother, Caleb, was born, my parents found out I was hard of hearing and I was fitted with hearing aids. According to my mom, my face lighted up with joy after my hearing aids were turned on. Unlike other small kids, I did not fight or wanted them out. I even wanted to go to bed with them on. Later as I grew older, I would make hearing aids out of packing peanuts for my family so they would be like me. But, like every other person who has a disability, I have asked “Why me?” From the time I was very little, I was told that God has a very special plan for me. Now, more than ever, I know that this is true.
“For I know the plans I have for you” Declared the Lord. “Plans to prosper you, not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11
I grew up in a Christian home. We went to church every Sunday and went out to eat afterwards. My faith has been the foundation of my life since I was very young. I was the little girl whose favorite radio station was KSBJ, the local Christian music radio station. I woke up at the crack of dawn on Saturday mornings to watch “BibleMan” on TBN. I knew all the lyrics to the Veggietales Silly Songs. I would preach on the patio to my family on how God created hearing aids so that kids like me could hear. I accepted Jesus into my heart when I was 5. My dad was the one who asked me why I needed a savior, to make sure I knew what I was doing. He then helped me pray the prayer that invited Jesus into my life. My dad was vital to my spiritual life growing up. The Bible calls husbands and fathers to be the spiritual leader of their household, and my dad really took that role seriously. I could go to him with any question about God, and he could tell me. I valued my time with him. He would rub my back and watch T.V. He worked a lot because he planned to retire around 45-50 years old. But he did leave the weekends for us. I was a daddy’s girl.
When I started school, I went to public school. However, when I was in 3rd grade, I transferred to Salem Lutheran School. I loved it there. My favorite part of the day was the daily Bible class. Every Wednesday was Chapel, and I looked forward to it every week. Even at 9 years old, I was at my happiest when I was singing praises to the Lord. It was here would I would find my favorite teacher, Mr. S, and who would later to inspire me to become a teacher as well.
My childhood was wonderful. We would go on fun vacations and take trips to the zoo and the museums that Houston had to offer. I would start riding horses at age 3 and would end up owning 2 horses over the course of my life before college. When I was on top of a horse that was the only time when I felt equal to everyone else. No one could tell I walked with a limp on the ground. All they could see was me flying across a jump.
Every Monday from the earliest days I could remember, to sixth grade, I went to Physical and Occupational Therapy. The stretching was not fun, but that was only the beginning of the hour session. The Wii or some other fun activity followed. My favorite thing to do was to ride the iHorse. Sometimes, I would go swimming. I would fight against the current of the indoor pool. I never liked to admit it, but I always looked forward getting out of school early to head to Therapy. I knew all the staff there and a lot of my younger life was spent in that office. I befriended a lot of the other kids who were in Therapy with me. It was a big part of my life. I wore AFOs (Ankle-Foot Orthotics) until I was in fourth grade. I didn't really care for them. They were hot and sweaty in the hot Texas heat and humidity. I could only wear tennis shoes. I couldn’t wear sandals or dress shoes. It was a pain sometimes!
November 16, 2007. I was in fourth grade. It was Pilgrim Day at school. I was wearing a dress and a bonnet, instead of the normal uniform. The class was taught in a one room schoolhouse in the back of Salem’s property. We played kickball and used slates to write like they did back in the 1600s. I was under a table with my best friend Gracie, playing some game, when I got the news that my mom was here to pick me up and I was to be driven back to the school. I was upset. I wanted to stay and play the game. Didn't Mom know today was really special? When we got there, I saw not only Mom, but Mrs. Roxanne, Mom’s best friend. I was puzzled. Mom didn't drive. She was quiet and didn't answer any of my interrogation. Finally, I gave up and remained quiet for the ride home. When we arrived into the driveway, there was a lot of cars. I thought, “Oh, this is for Caleb’s birthday,” which was a week away. We entered the house and among the people was our children pastor holding Kid Meals. Thank God, I was starving. I remember asking where was my dad, wondering if we were waiting for him to get the party started. But that was when I was told that Dad had died. He had passed away from a pulmonary embolism. I couldn’t believe it. I saw him that morning. He had a little cold, but that was it. All I could do was sit and stare at the wall. They called over my best friend she was frightened and couldn’t do anything. I don’t blame her. She left, and all I could do was stare at the wall. We went back to school after Thanksgiving break and I couldn’t do much work. All of the teachers were so supportive and even raised money to pay tuition for the rest of the year. It was a very hard time for me, but even worse on my wonderful stay-at-home Mom. She would now would have to do what my dad had done--pay the bills. My mom was blessed to have gotten a PH.D in psychology. She would end up owning her own office and having a wonderful job with her hours picked and days off as she chooses.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirt.
Psalms 34:18
“In every sorrow, Jesus is better, make my heart believe.”
- Jesus Is Better
As the years passed, my mom and I started growing apart. We weren’t super close to begin with. I loved my mom, but she wasn’t my spiritual advisor, and that is who I needed at the time. When my father passed away, I did what I was taught to do: lean into my Comforter, Jesus. My mother went the other direction and wanted nothing to do with God. I wanted to go to church, and she didn’t. I felt like I was alone in my faith in my God. I couldn’t go to my mom with my questions, she would just rattle off reasons I should be mad at God and have nothing to do with Him, and walk off. I could go to Mr. S. at Salem, but we soon got moved into public school, where I could no longer ask about anything related to God. With no church, and no teachers who were allowed to talk about Jesus, I was lost. I continued to press into my Lord, but the Christian walk was not meant to be traveled alone.
With my mom falling down a slippery slope, I was scared, not for me, but for Caleb and Bailey. My father wasn’t there to lead them to Christ. I saw my mom date men that were not believers. She came home one day with a belly button ring, and started wearing bikinis. This was not the mother she was when Daddy was here, and it scared me. It was tough to see a person I knew all my life change, it seemed like, overnight. The mother I knew would not do that to herself. She would wake up early to have her coffee and quiet time before she would wake us up for school. That is the mother I needed and miss.
My public school days in Middle and High school were tough. Being hard of hearing, I struggled with making friends. Not because I am introverted but because I cannot hear. I make friends better when I am one on one or in a small circle, not large groups. But, high school is mostly large groups. I struggled to hear in the lunchroom and in the classroom. In 10th grade, my hearing got so bad that I transferred to TSD (Texas School for the Deaf). I thrived in school there, but the dorm life was tough for me. I ended up transferring back home for the rest of my high school years. It was still hard. I was isolated and self-taught myself my subjects. I left 11th grade feeling really down about school.
That was until they summer of 2015, where my life was changed forever once again. I’ve been a camper at Pine Cove since my 8th grade year. They had always provided me with a staffer that knew ASL (American Sign Language) to help my week go by as smoothly as possible. I was an overflow camper that year, so I would be at camp for 2 weeks, since it was my last year at camp because I was a senior. I had called ahead of time like always to tell them that I would need an ASL interpreter. I was really excited about camp, but also really nervous. My hearing has gotten so bad, that my hearing aids barely helped anymore. I was worried about being able to connect with my cabin. I was even scheduled to have a cochlear implant surgery the following week after I came home. I got to camp on that Sunday, and I met my interpreter for the next 2 weeks. Immediately, I knew that I wanted to get to know her and that she would be a person I would look up to. She had the Holy Spirt flowing out of her. Two days of camp later, I found out that I could understand her voice, and her voice only, without needing to lip read. A few days later, after I had a dream that I could hear birds, I heard birds for the first time in my life. One thing led to the next, and by the middle of the second week of camp, I could hear everyone and everything. I no longer needed the cochlear implant surgery!
“Then the eyes of the blind will be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped. Then the lame will leap like a deer and the mute tongue shout for joy.”
Isaiah 35:5-6
I went back to school the start of my senior year hearing the best I ever had. It stayed that way for 6 months to the day.
TO THE DAY.
I woke up one Sunday to get ready for church when I realized that I couldn’t hear in my left ear at all. I went to the doctor and got put on steroids, but nothing changed. I was so upset, my hearing was gone. I couldn’t understand why God would give me something so beautiful only to take it back. But, I knew it was a test. It took me a while, but I knew God would make this turn out for good. It wasn’t about 4 months later that I realized what He had done. When my hearing came back at camp, many came to believe in the Healer. It was beautiful, to God be the glory. But when my hearing went away, people began to ask me how am I so happy. They would list everything that had happened to me in my li8fetime, to end with “why in the world are you still smiling?” It was also there were I was also able to point to Christ, it was joy of the Lord is my strength. God has given me the most beautiful way to witness to him, both in happy times and in sorrow countless times in my life. And in that, I rejoice.
I will write an article to expand on the healing later….
Until then, Peace, Love, and Jesus friends!!
