The first things that come into the general public's mind when they hear these three letters are; Korean pop sensation, famous fanbase, and visuals. What they don't see is the message and love they carry for each and every one of us, their loving fans. People think we're a bunch of crazy girls/guys who obsess over seven men who speak in a different language and have good-looks. However, instead of just talking about the fanbase in general, I'm going to talk about my journey with them and how they saved my life from the darkness in myself.
It was the end of freshman year and things had gone south. Actually, way more south than I intended. I'm a person with extreme anxiety, whenever tests come around I freak out and my palms get sweaty, just thinking about what my future may hold gives me headaches and pains in my body, I cry almost every night thinking about what I have to do and what I'm doing wrong on my life. Remind you, I'm only a freshman in high school the mania hasn't begun yet. I've committed many mistakes in my life that haunt me to this day, but with the help of BTS' empowering music, I am able to brush it past me and start new. Everyday holds a new struggle for me to either endure or to shrivel up and cry, not being able to handle it anymore. That summer, was the worst and best of my sixteen years of life. I had disobeyed my parents rule of dating and went behind their backs, my GPA was not at its greatest, and my social life was at zero. My parents were severely angry at me for disobeying the only important rule they had. I lost my freedom to go out by myself, I could not talk to my parents comfortably anymore, and I had no one to go to for help. That wasn't the only thing that had kept me down; stress about my future had been creeping up on me for the first two months of summer. Anxiety about what I wanted to be in the future crept up, along with pleasing what my parents also wanted from me. Yes, becoming a doctor is wonderful but that was not what I wanted to do. My dreams consisted of studying well with a balance of social life. I didn't want to study from day-night about medicine and then, maybe failing. That would be the end of everything. I had two main options about the career I wanted to pursue: computer science or journalism. I had gotten an interest in computer science when I read about the origin of Java in a book my dad bought and around the same time, I had fixed my own laptop from a virus without any help (except the internet giving me guidance and my dad explaining some features my laptop could do). Journalism became an interest, when I was able to share my opinions about a specific topic and receive feedback for it, along with that I write fictional stories about the struggles I face everyday. It was my escape from reality. However, trying to please what your parents have in mind against with what you want to do was going to be torture, so I picked the best thing, under pressure, that I could do and that was to pursue medicine. Wrong move but I didn't know what to do, there was no one telling me to do what I want, no little voice in me because that voice disappeared from all the anxiety and depression I was facing.
Skipping forward to the end of the first month of summer, May 22nd, I was browsing through Buzzfeed articles and reading random things, when I stumbled upon an article talking about a k-pop group, BTS, breaking Justin Bieber's TSA (Top Social Artist) winning streak. I was never a fan of Justin Bieber (don't come at me please haha), and was immediately intrigued. After reading that article, I became interested about these seven musicians and what they did. That was it, I was sucked into the k-pop hole and would never climb out. That night, I was doing a listening spree on all their albums and started a particular album, HYYH Part. 1 - The Most Beautiful Moment in Life Pt. 1, this album became my savior. The beauty in every single lyric, the message being conveyed hit very close to home. I had cried so much listening to that album, being able to connect with the pain in the lyrics. If you haven't listened to BTS before, I urge you to listen to this album at the least. Their pain and my pain latched together and I could finally smile again. Knowing there was something to tell me to keep going, that there was nothing holding me back, someone telling me that it was okay to do what I wanted for my happiness was the best thing that could ever happen to me. Yes, it is in a different language, but love knows no boundary, pain can be heard and felt. That was what I could feel in their music, love and pain. That day and onwards, I had become a fan, ARMY, and would finally be the happy and optimistic girl I was meant to be. Yes, there are still ups and downs in my life right now but the only escape is their music, their message. Without them, who knows what would've been of me now. They don't know it but I do, they'll probably never know who I am or what they've done for me, but I will know and I owe them everything because of it.
So, next time you hear about BTS and their achievements, know they're doing this out of love. They are humans too who go through the daily struggles everyone goes through. They aren't popular because of visuals and social media, but of their message to the many people like me who struggle to find happiness and light in darkness everyday. Thank you.
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