If you look up the definition of the word “woman” you will find that it is an adult human female. That’s it. That is all that it will say. Not once does it say, the lesser of two genders, or, dependent on men. I think we tend to forget this, especially, women ourselves. We forget that we are strong on our own and that we can be happy on our own. Is it nice to have someone with which to share our life? Is it nice to have a significant other with which to make memories? Of course it is. However, there is a difference between wanting someone in our lives, and depending completely on their existence.
Here’s to the girl who needs to be reminded of this difference.
- You were beautiful before he told you so. Cliché. Sure. However, it is true. You were beautiful before he told you so. Your smile lit up a room, even before he told you that it did. Your laugh could radiate more laughter, even before he told you it could. You were happy even before he made you so. Never forget this.
- Stop making excuses for him. If he made you upset, then HE MADE YOU UPSET. If what he said hurt you, then IT HURT YOU. Do not excuse what he does for the benefit of saving his feelings. Would he do the same for you?
- Do not depend on him to make you happy. When you were a baby, you laughed at nothing. When someone made farting noises on your tummy, you giggled uncontrollably. Peek-a-boo was funny. Elmo was funny. For crying out loud, toilet paper was even funny. You were happy. That right there is proof; proof that you’ve NEVER needed a man to make you smile. So, why do you need one now?
- When did you become an object? You are not an object that can be used. You are not a toy that is to be played with. You are not an old worn out pair of jeans that can be thrown away when you are no longer wanted. Quit treating yourself this way, because the moment you quit, everyone else will too.
- He did not break you. Sadness is inevitable. Heart wrenching pain is inevitable. Do not wallow in it. Cry. Cry until there is no water left in your body to cry out. Then, pick yourself up. Clean off your face and change your clothes. Go out with friends. Do not lie in a puddle of your own pity because, and listen closely, he did not break you. You are NOT breakable.
- He is not the sun. “Don’t let what he wants eclipse what you need. He’s very dreamy, but he’s not the sun. You are.” – Christina Yang.
We all want to be loved. We all deserved to be loved. However, do not confuse love with lust. A sense of self is much more deserved. Loving yourself, before anyone else is, much more deserved. You are not a possession. You are not a prize that can be won. You are the sun.
Love always,
Your friend.
