I will always remember the 5th of November.

Not because of Guy Fawkes, but because, just last week, on November 5, I received a phone call that no one ever wants to receive. My grandmother had passed away.

My Grandma Phyllis had been in the hospital for four days. Due to her struggles with dementia, she had not been eating or drinking. She was dehydrated, and her kidneys were failing. My grandma didn't want extraordinary measures to be taken to keep her alive. So, my mom and her siblings decided to only provide my grandma with comfort measures.

My grandmother was one of the godliest women I have ever met. When I would wake up in the morning after spending the night at her house, I would almost always find her singing hymns in the kitchen as she cooked breakfast. She was always so kind and so generous. She was active in her church and volunteered with mentally handicapped children. She and I were even baptized on the same day.

I saw Grandma the day before she died. She was restless and uncomfortable. She was weak and tired. Seeing someone who I loved so much struggling and yearning for peace absolutely broke my heart. So, I got on my knees at the foot of my grandmother's hospital bed, and I prayed. I prayed that God would do whatever it took to comfort my grandma and give her peace. If that meant it was time for her to leave this earth and go to her Heavenly home, then that is what needed to happen.

I knew that my grandmother loved the Lord and had put her faith and trust in Him. So, I knew that when she died she would spend an eternity with Him experiencing more peace, comfort, and joy than I could ever imagine. But that doesn't mean I was fully ready to live life without her. I wanted her to be at peace, but I selfishly wanted her to just get better and be here for a while longer.

There are so parts of my life that I wanted her here for. I wanted her here for more Thanksgivings and Christmases. I wanted her to see me graduate college. I wanted her to be at my wedding. I wanted her to hold my babies.

But God had other plans for answering my prayer. And on November 5th, He took my Grandma Phyllis's sins and struggles away and welcomed her into His arms.

The days that followed were difficult, and I know that there are still many difficult days ahead. I will still wish my grandmother was there for holidays and my wedding. I will still want her to be there to hold and sing to my babies.

But despite the struggles and grief, my God is faithful to provide joy and comfort in even the saddest moments. Psalm 30:5 says, "...Weeping may last through the night, but joy comes with the morning."

I am blessed to have some wonderful memories with my grandma, and I will find the joy in remembering those things. Whenever I go bowling, I will always give a high-five for a good roll and a fist bump for a bad one, just like my grandma used to. I will be cheering harder for UK basketball this season than I ever have. And I will always seek to love and serve others unconditionally, just like Grandma Phyllis.

I may not have been ready to say goodbye, but it was time for my grandma to meet her Heavenly Father. And I will rejoice in the day when I am able to do the same and see her sweet face once again.