As a 19 year old without a license, I get judged by my family and peers for not reaching that milestone. It has made me a black sheep in the family, and it sucks when I don't want to go to events and my step dad says "learn to drive then." They act as if I choose not to get my license, when in all reality I want to but my anxiety is what is holding me back. Many teens, and adults even, do not have their license, and I say that it's okay.
First of all, how scared were you when you first started to drive? I mean think about it, you were sitting in a seat you were probably never able to sit in before while being in control of a heavy metal machine.
That in itself sounds scary enough for someone to hold back on wanting to learn to drive. For others they may have a traumatic experience linked to cars, and they may want to stay as far away as possible. It doesn't matter what made that person feel not ready, they should not feel belittled because they are uncomfortable. I don't think you'd like being judged for something like this either.
For the people who do not have their license: do not rush things. I tried to rush myself into driving when I was 16, and it ended up with me procrastinating on driving due to fear for three years. Take things slowly, move on to the next step when you feel ready and remember that you can do this. You are not defined by your driving skills. There are so many more qualities to you than your driving abilities, and if anyone makes fun of you ignore them. I have friends with their licenses, and they are still afraid to drive because they were forced into driving when they weren't ready. Sure they can drive, but they are still not fully confident driving. I have seen people with their licenses drive like this:
Sadly, depending on the situation, not having your license can have you judged. I will give you a personal example. When I was on my spring break from college, I had an interview at a hospital to clean up operating rooms after surgeries. I went in to work with my mom at four in the morning, then waited in the parking garage in the car until it was time for kme to go inside. Once I was inside I made my way to Human Resources, where my interview was, and waited patiently for my interviewer to come. Once she called me back to her office we began the interview process.
"Do you have a way to get here?" She asks looking up from my resume up at me.
"I can't drive myself, but my mom is willing to let me carpool with her." I say looking at her nervous; I really wanted this job, but I knew that this answer may hurt me.
"I see," she says as she writes down a note on my resume, "but will you always have a way to get here?"
I bite my lower lip and look at her. "No." I say shyly.
She nods and the interview continues with questions about the actual job position and previous work experience. Once the interview was coming to a close she caught me off guard.
"Do you have any questions for me?" She asks looking at me.
"Is there anything that may prevent me from getting the job?" I ask looking at her.
"Driving will be the issue," she says, "we may need you to come in at certain hours, and we can't have you not being able to come in because of lack of transportation. We will let you know though." She smiles warmly and reaches over to shake my hand. "Have a great day."
Ever since that interview I have been scared to say that I can't drive, and I am determined to change not having my license next month. This is the only time I can understand being judged for whether or not you can drive, but even then there are other modes of getting from one place to another. In my case I didn't have any other way beside my mom, so I am not upset about her not hiring me for that reason.
Again, do not be bothered by whether or not you have your license. Not everyone is ready at the age they can start driving. It is perfectly okay to wait and start when you feel ready and comfortable. There are many people that are in a similar boat, and you shouldn't let the people that do drive get to you. Coming from someone who is in your situation, and is working to come out of it, you can do this! I have faith in you, and so do so many others.
