All the single ladies,

This is something I really need you to latch hold of and believe. I love you, and I love those who love you, who want what’s best for you, but times change. Every person is different, and we don’t know what the future holds. I believe that God does and that He’s in control, but we don’t know the future.

I tend to live my life with a healthy dose of pessimism (because then I can theoretically never be disappointed, right?), but I think this needs to be said.

I do want to be married one day, but having a husband at some point is not contingent on you having someone right now. It doesn't mean you aren't looking. Maybe your parents got married younger than you are now. Great for them. Lucky they found their "person" so early. People tended to get married earlier in the past, but maybe even then they got married early for their age.

Maybe they didn’t get to pursue their education as far as you’re planning to. Who knows, and there are lots of people who get married at 25, 30, 35, 40, the list goes on; and if you're looking now, odds are you'll find that someone earlier than later.

You're looking for someone to spend the rest of your life with, to possibly raise kids and help make decisions on money and moving and religion and so many other incredibly important considerations, and if you're serious about marriage, you would be foolish to take dating (and marriage) decisions lightly.

I get it, people from your class are getting engaged, married, and having kids. Family members and classmates, some younger than you, have already “made it.” However, for every time that a well-meaning family friend or loved one inquires why you’re still single, or talks about how you need a boyfriend, they’re right.

This really is all on you. It’s not like a relationship relies on another person. It’s not like another person can break up with you, or that you could have a reason for breaking up with someone.

Those high school sweethearts that are together and ready to start their life together? It’s because they worked harder. It’s a simple matter of effort. You didn’t put your hair up that one day, or you weren’t at Walmart on that one Saturday when you would have been destined to meet your “soulmate.”

I don’t know what the situation is, but it’s clearly all your fault, and any of the other things you're working hard on in life (like a degree, earning money, volunteering, trying to shape or save lives, or make any kind of difference) is completely null and void because of the nakedness of your finger.

The Bible even says “It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than for a lady to be unescorted in public for any extended period of time” (Spoiler: that's not how it goes)

Please catch my sarcasm. That’s ridiculous. Every time you start to feel bad about not currently being in a relationship, just realize that your precious energy is being wasted from your studies, from fun, from the beauty currently in your life.

For every friend you see that’s engaged, there’s probably at least three others that aren’t. There’s people out there just like you that aren’t in relationships, and even those that are, that want to spend these precious college years with you making memories. Don’t let those memories be tainted by fruitless worry and self-deprecation.

You don’t want to look back five, ten years from now and to be like, “Wow. Not only am I not going to die alone, but I wish that I hadn’t wasted so much time and energy beating myself up for not having a boyfriend. I wish I had spent more time living up those memories with the loved ones already around me rather than worrying about the ones that I haven’t met yet.”

This is my last year of undergrad, and I've got great friends, family, and opportunities in my life. I won’t get to spend this much time with these people in my life forever. I still seek and pray for someone to spend the rest of my life with, but somewhere along the line, I reached a point where I realized I don’t want to waste a single moment with all the people I've been blessed with. I want laughter with friends instead of tears.

Maybe soon I’ll have someone, but I think of all the people in my life that are gone in just the time that I’ve been in college. So no, I’m not in a rush to get there, because for every day that I wake up? I’m still single, but I still have loved ones with me that I want to cherish every moment with.

Rather than dwell on things that you REALLY don’t have a whole lot of control over (who you’re going to meet, how they’re going to feel about you, compatibility of your beliefs, how busy you are, etc.) appreciate how beautiful the falling leaves are. Especially on our campus, words can’t even describe how picturesque the vibrant yellow leaves delicately hit the ground. Best 10 minute walk to class ever.

You don’t have a date tonight? Build up knowledge for your career. Do some research; email your professor or another professional your burning questions. Catch up on that Netflix show. Make pancakes in your pajamas.

There’s a lot of factors that go into meeting someone you might want to marry, including location, timing, both of your personalities, your beliefs; and honestly, no person is perfect. It would seem, like a lot of things in life, like the odds are stacked against finding someone. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me.

I still worry from time to time too, but my faith encourages me that if the odds can be defied for not only existence and so many other happenings that occur every day, the same God who created this world will have someone for me if it’s His will, and His will is what’s best for me. And in that, I can rest. Even in single-dom.

I'm thankful I haven't been as pressured as others about not having a boyfriend, and that people have encouraged me to make the most of the stage of life I'm in now-- through academics, music, friendships, whatever. My parents still found each other, and it wasn't at 16, or at 23.

That's the beautiful thing about the freedom we have-- we don’t reach a certain age where some entity tells us, “Well, you didn’t find one by now. Your license to find love has expired; here’s your 50% off coupon to purchase 10 cats.”

Life is short. If you like cats, go ahead and adopt 10. You’ll find that guy who wants to marry you and your 10 cats eventually. Until then, spend time with those in your life who already want to hang out with you and your 10 cats.

Appreciate every single day with every family member and loved one still in your life. Don’t become so discontent with what you don’t have in your life that you miss, in the words of Pocahontas, the beauty and “the riches all around you.”