About 99% of the world loves dogs. I am the 1% that does not. For that reason, the universe hates me. A lot of people I know hate me. A lot of people I don't know hate me. Even more people will hate me just after reading that first sentence. Long story short, I have a lot of haters (the article isn't over because I need to still defend myself, unless of course you don't care and you hate me THAT much, so feel free to exit this page).
I have a phobia. So no, I don't dislike your dog because I think they're awful creatures (I don't) - I literally can't look at a dog without an intense physical and neurological response that lights up my nervous system like a friggin Christmas tree.
Phobias are irrational for a reason. I didn't CHOOSE the dog-fearing life. In fact, it sometimes destroys my life. If someone is walking their dog down a narrow sidewalk, I will cross the street on purpose to avoid it. I have a lot of trouble at parks, barbecues, in my own neighborhood, and pet-friendly clothing stores or salons. Can't a girl get her hair cut in peace? And no, I have never set foot in a pet store.
Things that won't change how I feel: showing me pictures of your dog. Telling me that your dog is harmless. Asking me to look at how cute it is. Gushing over how cute it is (annoying). Thinking that petting the dog will solve everything. Telling me to get over it or that I am overreacting when my body goes into a state of panic over seeing a loose dog in public. Drawing attention to someone walking their dog and wanting it to come near us even though you consciously know what I'm going through. Most of all, forcing me to be in an environment with a dog - if I come over and you allow your dog to jump all over me, I cannot entertain our friendship. It's like throwing someone into a pit of snakes.
Things that will change how I feel: really expensive psychotherapy? Whatever it is, I'm too poor for it.
The best thing you could do for someone with a severe phobia is to be compassionate and empathetic. These are MAJOR KEYS. You don't have to understand, and I would never expect that from someone who doesn't suffer in the same way, but a little bit of care goes extremely far. If you treat my phobia sensitively, there is a 100% chance that I would be more willing and receptive to any suggestions or help on how to ease myself into exposure with dogs. Putting down and making fun of individuals with phobias only feeds their brain and causes an opposite reaction to the desired goal.
Through therapy, I learned some very important things. First, to rank my least-feared dog situation to my most-feared dog situation. This helps me rationalize my moments of exposure to dogs. Second, to be confident and open about my phobia. This is not something that I can control, and it is part of me, but it IS something I can work at. And as always, I am working to improve MY mental health and well-being and calm MY anxious state, and not working to make your life a little more convenient by letting your dog run free. Baby steps are important, so please, bear with me.
